Discounting and Grandiosity in TA

Discounting is defined as unwarily ignoring information relevant to the solution of the problem.

A discount is a crossed transaction in which the discountee emits a stimulus from his adult ego state to another person’s adult and that person responds from his parent or child.

Whenever a person is attempting to establish or maintain a symbiosis, she is ignoring or distorting some aspects of her internal or external experience. This is called discounting.

Example 1 : I am waiting  at a bus stop to catch a bus to take me for an urgent client meeting. I am aware that reaching on time is important but I continue to stand and wait for a bus ,and not take the decision to take a cab. I am discounting my ability to think of a different option to reach my destination.

Example 2:I have a headache for two days and keep ignoring the existence of the headache and how it is impacting my wellbeing. Here I am discounting the existence of the headache and not doing anything to relieve me of the discomfort.

(A)Discounting :When our perception of reality matches the popular view, then what we perceive is a consensual reality. If it does not, then our perception is different form the consensual reality. This error in perception occurs because of discounting. In discounting, some aspects of the reality have been ignored, overlooked, perceived larger / stronger / more powerful / more difficult than actual or perceived to be smaller / weaker / less powerful / easier than actual. In either case a distortion has occurred.

Areas of Discounting :People can discount self ,others and the situation.

Three types of discounting take place and each type has four levels. The levels are also called modes or ways. When these are combined a matrix is generated. It is called the Discount Matrix or the Discounting Matrix. When we wish or desire to implement change, we can do something about it once we are able to identify the point of our stuckness as also how to proceed in the matter. The discount matrix helps us to identify our stuck point and also provides the means to resolve it.

The three types of discounting are when a person discounts the stimuli, the problem or the options in example 2 above I was discounting the stimuli, headache and how it was affecting me. I may also choose to ignore the problem that I might face due to a headache e.g. I am not able to complete my task within stipulated time. Here I am discounting the problem. I might have the option or choice of delegating the work to somebody and ensure the task is completed on time, but I don’t do that. Then I am discounting the option and remain stuck with my problem.

The levels of discounting are also called modes. The four levels are existence, significance, change possibilities and personal abilities. When I refuse to acknowledge the presence of headache ,I am discounting its existence. When I do not understand how the problem could impact me adversely ,I am discounting the significance of the problem. When I do not keep an open mind and think of possibilities to counter the issue, I am discounting the change possibilities. When I do not think about what must I do to go  and solve the headache, I am discounting my personal ability to solve the problem.

In order to discount in any of these ways the parents must be operating(1),From a misinformed or uninformed adult, 2)From a contaminated adult or 3) by excluding the adult and cathecting an unhelpful Parent or child .

(B)The negative advantages of discounting :One needs to understand that by denying power to one entity (person or situation), it is invested in, or is granted to or assigned to or in another, this aspect is called grandiosity. Discounting is accompanied by grandiosity. Grandiosity provides justification.

Thinking Disorders: Over-detailing and generalization are two types of thinking disorders.

Over-detailing: In over-detailing the person uses unnecessary details to convey information. In grammar it is called using redundant. An example: “Actually what I want to tell you, and I should have told this to you yesterday, is that I am not coming tomorrow.” Instead of “Sir, I am not coming tomorrow”.

Generalization: Generalization is displayed when something related to one is viewed or conveyed to be of many. For example: If one person or a few persons do not follow traffic rules I say: “the traffic is chaotic because people do not follow traffic rules.”

(C )Grandiosity :Every  discount is accompanied by Grandiosity. This is an exaggeration of some features of reality. It about “making a mountain out of a mole hole.)One feature of the situation is blotted out or diminished through discounting , so another feature is blown up out of proportion by grandiosity. Grandiosity is the act of purposefully exaggerating about self or others or the environment in order to maintain the passivity. This can give us at least two information. The first one being that people might miss and ignore information. The second one is that it helps us see when these people might not be taken seriously. Words indicating grandiosity can be never, always, naturally, absolutely, all or evident. Take for example a sentence “my clients never complain”, “Our clients’ interests always come first” or “We stress teamwork in everything we do”.

Example of Grandiosity : I am sitting in a restaurant feeling hopeless because the waiter wasn’t serving me my dinner that I had ordered. Here I am discounting my own options as well as giving more power to the waiter,which he in real life didn’t have,the power to decide whether I should get my dinner on time or not. My friend was sitting besides me in the restaurant. Seeing the waiters lack to response to my gestures, she also gets very angry. She tells me, “ That waiter is incompetent I were his manager ,he would be sacked for such delayed service.”.Here my friend was discounting the waiters competence and was being very grandiose about herself. She was taking on herself the role of judge and jury although she had neither adequate evidence nor responsibility to do so.

Discounting relation with TA concepts:

Discounting and strokes :It is important to distinguish between a straight negative stroke and a discount. A discount always entails some distortion of reality, e.g. “You’re hateful” – Discount “I hate you” – Negative stroke “I can see you can’t spell” – Discount “You’ve spelled that word wrongly” – Negative stroke A discount gives no signal on which to base constructive action.

Discounting and behaviours: A discount itself are not observable. But there are four types of behaviour which always indicates that the person is discounting. These are called Passive Behaviours: • Doing nothing • Over adaptation • Agitation • Incapacitation and/or violence

Discounting and contamination and exclusion When a person shuts down one or more ego-states this called exclusion.  There are three possibilities:

1. Excluded Parent means that the person will not have any ready-made rules about the world.  They make their own rules in every situation. 
2. Excluded Adult means that the person does not reality test.  There is a constant internal struggle and behaviours may seem bizarre.
3. Excluded Child means that the person will shut out the stored memories of their own childhood.  Feelings are often expressed from our Child ego-state.  Therefore, those who exclude the Child may appear cold and distant.

Discounting and Symbiosis :In unhealthy symbiosis ego states are discounted in two ways. In one way by not using those that are available for use and in another way by using those of another. There is sharing. Though dysfunctional, this sharing provides a sense of comfort to both parties. The unused ego states are excluded contextually, meaning in the moment and for the topic prevailing and purpose. Both parties experience psychological gain in the process. 

yugen #46 Racket systems in relation to Script Theory in Transactional analysis

The Racket System is a model for identifying and dealing with racket-related phenomena. The Racket System is self-reinforcing and distorted, based on script, and consists of Script Beliefs and Feelings, Rackety Displays, and Reinforcing Memories. It is a process in which someone sets up to feel a racket feeling . Racket feelings is always a substitute for other feelings which was prohibited in our childhood. So, they are a cover for our authentic feelings. These are learned childhood pattern or conditional reflex.

 For E.g. : Covering fear with anger : Boss is scared of month end targets not achieved and makes his fear as anger towards his secretary ,who has walked in to get his signature.

Covering anger with sadness : I am angry for not doing my presentation well before the board of directors , and I feel sad and unsure of myself on my growth in the organisation going forward. Authentic or uncensored feelings :Mad – angry    Sad –unhappy   Glad – happy    Scared – Fear.

Definitions: The Racket system is defined as a self reinforcing,,distorted system of feelings ,thoughts and actions maintained by script bound individuals.

Racket feeling is a familiar emotion, learned and encouraged in childhood, experienced in  many different  stress situations and maladaptive as an adult means of problem solving.Racket is a set of scripty behaviours, employed outside awareness as a means of manipulating the environment and entailing the persons experiencing a racket feeling.Anytime you experience racket feeling you are in script.

(1) Individuals frequently use a variety of feelings to engage in rackety manipulation rather than a single “favourite feeling.”

(2) For some individuals there appears to be a hierarchy of substitute feelings rather than a direct substitution of one feeling for another. For example, in the process of dealing with scared feelings a client may switch to angry feelings, only to discover that it was sad feelings which were most strongly suppressed in childhood.

 (3) Whereas rackets have been primarily limited to feelings, “thinking rackets” are sometimes observed. For example, guilt, inadequacy and confusion rackets would be more accurately described as “thinking rackets” accompanied by feelings and physical responses.

(4) Equating rackets and trading stamps as the same “favourite feeling” does not always apply.

The use of the Racket System is great as  a model for identifying, explaining, and dealing with the phenomena related to rackets and trading stamps. Racket Analysis would include phenomena which:

 (a) may be explained in terms of ego states;

 (b) may occur in the absence of social transactions (and, therefore, not a method of structuring time);

 (c) are not transactions, games or scripts but may influence or be operating as a part of these phenomena; and

 (d) can be related to structural analysis, transactional analysis proper, game analysis and script analysis.

(1)The racket system :The Racket System is defined as a self -reinforcing, distorted system of feelings, thoughts and actions maintained by script bound individuals. The Racket System has three interrelated and interdependent components: the Script Beliefs and Feelings, the Rackety Displays and the Reinforcing Memories.             

1)Script belief : a) core belief       b) supporting belief

The Script Beliefs and Feelings are all the Parent and Child contaminations of the Adult based upon and supporting script decisions

(a)Core beliefs :The child’s suppression of feelings and failure to satisfy needs produce an incomplete  emotional experience ,which the  child attempts to make sense of the experiences and produces fixed Gestalten-survival conclusions or script decisions, which remain as the Core Script Beliefs or the basic decisions about self, others, and the quality of life personal destiny

(b)Supporting beliefs :The child then begins to add Supporting Script Beliefs which reaffirm and elaborate upon the Core Script Beliefs.

A Case study of script beliefs and feelings :

Beliefs about self :  Core : I am not lovable .  I should not exist. 

                                Supporting: I have to fend for myself.

Belief about others : Core : Other’s people are more lovable.

                                Supportive : No one wants me. No one loves me. I am not needed .

Belief about quality of life :Core: Life is tough .Life is competitive. Life is unfair. Life is lonely.

Supportive :I have to survive by myself. I have to be strong. I have to fend       for myself. No one will help me.

Repressed feelings : resentment, anger, hurt, sadness, guilt.

(2)Racket Displays : Years later when the person experiences feelings similar to those felt at the time of script decision, the Script Beliefs may be stimulated. If the script decision is  included the belief, “I’m unlovable,” and the feeling present at the time was sadness, there will be a continual recycling of the Script Belief (“I’m unlovable”) and Feeling (sadness) on the intrapsychic level, which reinforces and maintains the script. And, when this intrapsychic process occurs, the person is likely to engage in Rackety Displays.

(a)Overt Behaviour: The Rackety Displays consist of all the overt and internal behaviours which are manifestations of the Script Beliefs/Feelings. Included are the observable behaviours such as words, sentence patterns, tones of voice, displays of emotion, gestures and body movements a person makes which are a direct result of the intrapsychic process. These behaviours may be labelled Rackety Displays since they are repetitive and stylized and are a manifestation of the Script Beliefs/Feelings. In adolescence and in adulthood individuals may continue to use the Rackety Displays learned in early childhood.

(b) Internal experiences : An individual may have a body reaction to the intrapsychic process in addition to or in place of the overt behaviours. These reported internal experiences are the behaviours which are not readily observable but on which the person can give a self -report, such as fluttering in the stomach, changes in perceived body temperature, increased muscular tension, headaches, colitis and all the somatic responses to the Script Beliefs/Feelings. These internal behaviours are a manifestation of the Script Beliefs/Feelings and also maintain the script.

(c)Fantasies : The individual imagines behaviour, both his/her own or someone else’s, which lend support to the Script Beliefs. These fantasied behaviours function as effectively in reinforcing Script Beliefs/ Feelings and, in some instances, even more effectively than the overt behaviours.

Racket displays : 1) observable behaviour : sad, depressed ,not confident, cannot ask for things for myself(new school bag, crayons),scared to say no, accepts everything that is given(torn second hand textbooks, broken dolls),always speaks softly, meek, shy, scared, speaks with head bowed down.

2) Reported Internal experiences: tension on neck and face muscles, stomach upsets, cold and cough, headaches.

3)Fantasies: being loved and appreciated by my friends’ parents, being made to feel important by my teachers, waiting for my prince charming to rescue me after marriage, being able to escape from this prison into a beautiful world.

(3)Reinforcing memories : Reinforcing Memories are the recall of selected events during the person’s lifetime. They are a collection of emotional memories of transactions, either real or imagined; recall of internal bodily experiences; or the retained remnants of fantasy, dreams or hallucinations. Each memory has an emotional or feeling component associated with the experience. In some instances, people may forget the factual aspects of an event but will retain the emotional components of the memory. Reinforcing Memories serve as feedback to the Script Beliefs. Each Reinforcing Memory has the capacity either to reinforce or to negate the Script Beliefs. Since Script Beliefs function as a contamination of the Adult only those memories which support the Script Belief are readily accepted and are used as reinforcement of the beliefs.

(4) Recycling of scripty behaviours and feelings : Each time  a reinforcing memory  is recalled the person replays the script belief which itself is strengthened  by the reinforcing memory. The underlying suppressed is stimulated and the process of of intrapsychic recycling is set in motion once more. The person does rackety displays which enables him to collect more reinforcing memories with their accompanying emotional stamps.

Yugen # 43 Recognising games in conversations

Love is not a game of Chess,where you plan your next move,

But a game of Backgammon,where you Trust and Throw the Dice. – Rumi

Game is a series of duplex transactions which leads to a ‘switch’ and a well-defined, predictable ‘payoff’ that justifies a not-OK, or discounted (less-than) position.”.Berne defined a psychological game as “an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transaction progressing to a well-defined predictable outcome.”

Features of Game:

Games – How is it played ? Involve a Con. Con hooks up to a weakness. Weakness is a handle or a gimmick to get hold of in the respondent.eg.(fear, greed, sentimentality, irritability).After the mark is hooked, player pulls some sort of switch in order to get a payoff. Switch is followed by a moment of confusion or cross up while the mark tries to figure out what has happened to him. Both players collect their payoffs(feelings). Payoff is called a trading stamp. Game ends.Game is a series of duplex transactions which leads to a ‘switch’ and a well-defined, predictable ‘payoff’ that justifies a not-OK, or discounted (less-than) position.”Berne defined a psychological game as “an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transaction progressing to a well-defined predictable outcome.”

1. Games are repetitive :A person follows the same pattern . Each of us have our favourite games which we keep repeating irrespective of different circumstances.

• Games are played without adult awareness :  Most of the times people don’t realise that they themselves have helped set up the game. They continue to replay the game without being aware they are doing it.

• Games always end up with the players experiencing racket feelings : In a game both players are left feeling unpleasant.

• Games entail an exchange of ulterior transactions between the players: In every game there is something different happening at a psychological level from what seems to be happening at a social level. People repeat their games over and over again finding others whose games interlock with their own.

• Games always include a moment of surprise or confusion :. Here the player senses that something unexpected has happened, especially after people seemed to have changed their roles.

•  Game analysis : There are five different  ways to analyse and understand the dynamics of a game .

1. Formal game analysis – analyses the various  “advantages” of a game.
2. Drama Triangle :Focusses on racket and game positions.
3. Transactional game diagram : involves the diagnosis of ego states, including emphasis on psychological level communication.
4. Symbiosis diagram : focusses on identifying the preferred ego states of each player.
5. Formula G : describes the flow of a game, outlining the steps it will take once the initial moves are begun.

•  Advantages of games :

1. Helps to  pass the time with people.
2. Enables to main the basic life position.
3. Meet the need to acquire negative strokes.
4. Helps to confirm parental injunctions.
5. Creates pseudo intimacy.
6. Aids to mask our real and authentic feelings. Games plays out as follows:

• An opening con (C), an invite from person A to person B into the game, has to hook person B’s gimmick (G).
• When B responds (R) the game is on.
• With B hooked, person A can pull the switch (S) which sends person B into complete confusion or cross up (X).
• Once the cross up has happened then both parties can claim their payoff (P).

Game analysis using game formula  : Example

 Con : Shweta signals Anupama her desire to play a game with her( 1)nonverbal    communication(rolled up eyes & meaningful wink).(2)stating her observations to Anupama about Nisha and waits for a response from Anupama rather than telling what she already knows and asking directly for what she wants.

Gimmick : Anupama gimmick is her need to feel powerful and acceptance in the group (as a cover up for her inadequacy in work performance). She communicates the gimmick by her (1) nonverbal behaviour,(2) her loaded  suggestions and snide  remarks,(3)her immediate response to Shweta’s criticism of Nisha.

Response : Social response of feeling very important and powerful people in the clan. Sometimes this leads to lack of intimate relationships of the team members with Shweta and Anupama.

Switch : Anupama switched her role and loyalties and reveals everything to Nisha especially all the details said by Shweta behind Nisha’s back.

Cross up :Shweta experiences moment of silence, disbelief ,anger and confusion . Her ego state changes from CP to AC(Shweta feels victimised and at receiving end of Anupama’s betrayal.

Payoff :Shweta feels angry, betrayed.Anupama derives triumph and a sadistic pleasure. Nisha feels happy to gain trust of Anupama.  People are sometimes surprised when after having engaged in a pleasant stroking for a period of time, they are suddenly aware of an emotional element which is tense ,hostile, sad or unpleasant.They have been playing a game,without Adult awareness,so that the racket feeling payoff comes as a surprise.This racket feeling results from a discount either of the self or someone else.This ranges from a Victims sadness or confusion to a Persecutors anger or triumph to a rescuers concern or pity

Yugen 36 Enhancing Personal Awareness by using the Egogram

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.         ― Rumi

Lets first understand the concept of Egogram. Egogram is a graphical representation on the degree in which a person makes use of the different functional ego states.An Egogram is simply defined as: ‘a bar graph showing the relationship of the parts of the personality to each other and the amount of psychological energy emanating outward .Egogram is a visual representation of how individual psychic energy is distributed throughout her functional ego states . The egogram is a relationship diagram, depicting the amount of energy a person uses externally or actively as she relates to others.

Egogram is an intuitive way of showing the functional ego state parts of our personality.It is shown as a bar graph showing the amount of energy within the ego structure of the person and how he/she re-distributes this energy within the different ego states at a given point in time. As these are functional manifestations of ego states, this refers to behaviours and not internal processes.(which would need to be represented by structural analysis). It may not be consistent across environments e.g., Home and work, but it is a useful way of describing personality functioning and identifying change strategies. This was developed by Jack Dusay in 1972 who received the eric berne memorial award in 1973.A person learns to respond from certain ego states at certain times to get what she wants. Different people tend to spend varying amounts of time and energy in different ego states and these tendencies can be illustrated by egograms.

How do you construct your own Egogram ?

The Egogram gives an evaluation of the distribution of energy in the personality, and it can be used by the individual to show how much energy is needed to be re-distributed to other parts of the personality to make positive change. It is simple to construct and use. Draw a horizontal line on a piece of paper. Underneath, label the five ego states – adapted child, free child, adult, controlling parent and nurturing parent. Think of yourself at this particular time or at a specific moment in the past, draw whatever you feel is the most energised part of your personality, and draw it with a vertical line. (This will be your highest column.)Now, using your intuition, draw the lowest energised part of your personality as it is in comparison with the other. (This will be the lowest column.)Then fill in the other states as you see them in comparison with the above.

Having done the exercise, you should have now an egogram of the distribution of your energy within your personality at a given time. This will help you see where you might need at certain times to re-distribute your energy to help solve problems in life or therapy.Internal egogram is an egogram drawn by an individual herself to disclose her internal experience. Composite egogram is drawn by asking ten members to draw my egogram and then taking an average of the same.

For e.g. I experienced a High internal controlling parent message,” do as I tell you”, and responded from my Adapted Child by bowing my head and standing still and quiet. My internal egogram drawn by me , showed a very high Controlling Parent  and very high Adaptive Child and a very low Free Child, whereas  my transactional egogram drawn by others  showed a low Controlling Parent, a high Nurturing Parent  and a high Adapted Child.During and post my TA studies when I drew my egogram ,there was a significant increase in my Adult, Nurturing Parent and Free child and reduction in my Controlling Parent and Adaptive Child.

Constancy of hypothesis :Jack Dusay suggests in his book on Egograms, when the energy in one Ego state increases, the energy in another Ego state decreases, which means that one can successfully distribute one’s energy from one Ego state to another. Egograms are based on constancy hypothesis which states that the amount of psychic energy within a person remains constant. . (2.). When one ego state increases in intensity, another or others must decrease in order to compensate. The shift in psychic energy occurs so that the total amount of energy may remain constant. The general principle used in the egogram is using this to emphasise on raising the lower ego state than lowering the higher ones.

For Eg : When I started my focus on enhancing my Adult awareness, automatically my Free Child increased and my Critical Parent and Adaptive Child decreased.

My experience of transformation using egogram:

I had a high CP  and AC this coming from living a very disciplined and instruction led life . A strongly laid down rule book   at home while growing up, led to a high AC in me, lowering my FC and A. When I became a mother, I was conditioned to think and behave that child should be disciplined by strict parents. This increased my CP  and reduced my A. With the study of TA and conscious awareness and work on myself on a continuous basis, I have enhanced my A and NP and FC substantially. Due to constancy hypothesis automatically,  this has resulted in a decrease in my CP and AC. Indeed, having used Egograms successfully in my own self-evaluation, I can see graphically, the kind of person I am  and  it  shows me  the way  I can positively change to be the person that I want to be in my life today.

CPo +NPo +Ao+ACo+FCo =Ko    where Ko represents a constant figure.

1. You can learn what kind of person you are, and also about others to whom you relate.
2. If we want to become effective helpers, then we need to become aware of the way(s)
   in which we tend to communicate and seek to have more control over choosing
   how we communicate.
3. People can see for themselves what they need to change.

Changing involves an important principle of life  “Whatever you give attention to, grows, and whatever you don’t give attention to, diminishes.”

Yugen No 35 Understanding the dynamics of the PAC model

The wound is the place where the Light enters you.     ― Rumi

The process of analysing personality in terms of ego states is called structural analysis. Eric Berne defined an ego state as a consistent pattern of feeling and experience directly related to a corresponding consistent pattern of behaviour. Structural analysis is the analysis of the individual psyche.

FIRST AND SECOND ORDER STRUCTURAL MODEL  :A COMPARISON

First order of Structural Analysis is looking at how two people interact with each other from their various ego states. Second order Structural Analysis is about studying the interaction between one’s own ego states and how that plays out in relationship with problem.           

At any given time, a person experiences and manifests his or her personality through a mixture of behaviours, thoughts, and feelings .There are three ego-states that people consistently use.

FIRST ORDER STRUCTURAL MODEL :

Parent (“exteropsyche”): The Parent ego state refers to the behaviours, thoughts and feelings that are copied, learned or even borrowed from our parents, parental figures, or significant others.

Adult (“neopsyche”): Learning to strengthen the Adult is a goal of TA. While a person is in the adult ego state, he/she is directed towards an objective appraisal of reality.

Child (“archaeopsyche”): a state in which people behave, feel, and think similarly to how they did in childhood. The Child is the source of emotions, creation, recreation, spontaneity, and intimacy.

SECOND ORDER STRUCTURAL MODEL :

The second order structure refers to the subdivision of Parent and Child ego states.                                                                          

Each one of us has unaccountable number of experiences of thoughts, feelings and behavior stored away in memory. The purpose of the second order structural model is to classify these memories in a useful way, with in our framework of ego states. These networks form ego state structures that operate partly consciously and partly unconsciously. The conscious part is observable as distinct ego states, and through further investigation, the operation of unconscious parts, which can be thought of as ego state relational units , can be discovered as well. The structural model classifies stored memories and strategies. The complexity of the second order analysis clarifies how a person may respond in many different ways to a single stimulus.

P2- 6 years onwards      A2-18-36 months    C2- P1-3-6 years           A1-  6-18 months               C1-  0-6 months

  Parent ego state :

P3(Parent in Parent ): This is a store house of messages which may be passed down in generations, facts which are not true today. This is messages we receive from our parents, grandparents ,teachers, influential elders in family and society.

For e.g., Hurry up. Mother is screaming at me for being slow. Mother is ignoring me because she is angry with me. Girls are a burden  and should not be loved. Don’t give girls any gifts . Don’t make girls feel special.

A3(Adult in Parent ):   the reason of the messages and why are they important.

For e.g., Hold your baby brother carefully ,or he will fall.

C3(Child in Parent) : Any secret or covert implications of the messages. For e.g. Having a baby brother is fun.

Adult ego state :

A2 – computer . It is based on data and thoughts. Our own thinking about the message. This about reality testing, here and now thinking and feeling.

For e.g. When mummy puts her hands on her hips, she is very angry with me.

Child ego state :

P1(Parent in Child): Magical parent or electrode for e.g. I must not cry and give up. I have to be strong to survive. I have no one to pamper and take care of me . I will have to grow up on my own and take care of myself. I have to study hard, work hard and earn money to exist and be accepted by my parents. My parents don’t want me .They don’t love me. I am a burden to them.

A1(Adult in Child): little professor.  For e.g.  Whenever I spill milk mother gets mad at me. Mother doesn’t approve of me petting my infant brother. I need to take permission before eating something or else mother will get angry. I must never demand anything. I should not throw tantrums in front of others.

C1(Child in Child) : For e.g. My granny hugging me at sleep, my masi comforting me after me being scolded by my mother, my father giving me a good beating. If I act nice ,everyone will love me. No one wants me near them. No one hugs me because they don’t love me.

Relevance  of PAC model in life experiences:

A young child records almost everything in her parent. Parent tapes like C1 memories are recorded experiences of past events which once formed become part of the persons physiology. These experiences are stored in the chemistry of the organs and muscle tones. No amount of new experiences can truly erase these recordings, since they will always be a part of the persons history.

For e.g. If a person was abused as a child, even years of positive nurturing experience in adulthood will not change the reality of her past abuse. however, once the new experiences are also part of the persons parent, her child may select which of these tapes she will replay.

Yugen # 34 Transactional Analysis – A Brief Introduction

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
― Rumi

Transactional Analysis is a theory of Personality and systematic psychotherapy for personal development and personal change. This concept was given by Eric Berne.Eric Berne was born on May 10, 1910, in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, as Eric Lennard Bernstein. He was the son of David Hillel Bernstein, MD, a general practitioner, and Sarah Gordon Bernstein, a professional writer and editor. His only sibling, his sister Grace, was born five years later. The family immigrated to Canada from Poland and Russia. Berne’s father died of tuberculosis when Berne was 11. His mother then supported herself and her two children working as an editor and writer. She encouraged her son to follow in his father’s footsteps and to study medicine. After completing his one-year internship in 1936, he began his psychiatric residency at the Psychiatric Clinic of Yale University School of Medicine, where he worked for two years.

He developed the tripartite scheme used today (Parent, Adult, and Child), introduced the three-circle method of diagramming it, showed how to sketch contaminations, labelled the theory, “structural analysis”, and termed it “a new psychotherapeutic approach”.By the 1970s, because of TA’s non-technical and non-threatening jargon and model of the human psyche, many of its terms and concepts were adopted by eclectic therapists as part of their individual approaches to psychotherapy. Within the framework of transactional analysis, more recent transactional analysts have developed different and overlapping theories of transactional analysis: cognitive, behavioural, relational, redecision, integrative, constructivist, narrative, body-work, positive psychological, personality adaptational, self-reparenting, psychodynamic and neuro constructivist

Berne was influenced by many teachers who influenced his thinking and inspired him to work on this field for therapy to patients. Professor Eugen Kahn, German Psychiatrist and Eric Berne teacher on psychoanalytic theories,Dr. Paul Federn Austrian ,American psychologist spoke of functions of ego formation,Professor Erik Erikson, German American developmental Psychologist and Psychoanalyst worker and taught Eric Berne on psychotherapy and Sigmund Freud, Austrian neurologist laid the foundation of phenomena of transference and resistance and multi- faceted components of personality

Assumptions  and Principles in TA :

(1)People are OK. This is the fundamental acceptance that regardless of what you do, no matter what you think, or despite your feelings you are a worthwhile, valuable person in your own right. You are special. Everyone is special. We are all as important as each other. This is a statement of essence and not behaviour.

My personal takeaways from this are

• You and I both have worth, value and dignity.
• You accept me as me and I accept you as you.
• We are all equal and no one is one up on the other.
• I recognise your presence in my life and acknowledge you for being you and vice versa.
• I will not attempt to change people to suit my needs ,although the person has a different appearance and qualities that do not fit into my frame .
• I will accept people openly for what they are over what they do and have.
• I must respect everybody and accept them as they are.
• Positive reinforcement increases the feeling of OKness in all of us.
• Each person has validity, importance and equality of respect.
• Each of us deserves positive strokes because we all co -exist.
• I must positively stroke and accept the damaged and unaccepted  parts of my personality to heal myself. I can change myself by stroking the rejected part and making it unite with the accepted part of my personality.
• My awareness of myself and my behaviour with people around me will heal me of my damages, pain and suffering.

2) We can all think. If we have all got the capacity to think then we have all got the capacity to work out what we want and work out how to get there.

My personal takeaways from this are

• Everyone who has a functional brain can think.
• Everyone can decide and live the consequences of their choices
• I should not underestimate anyone’s ability to think and decide.
• I should not look down or judge anyone’s capabilities.
• All have a basic lovable core and desire for personal growth.

3)People decide their own destiny and have the power to change these decisions at any time. If we got to where we are today because of the decisions that we made then it’s within our power to change these decisions. We can be who we want to be and achieve our goals if that’s what we choose to do. Small changes may start the process and build up to larger changes when it feels safe.  It’s about getting around the barriers to change together.  Sometimes they need kicking down, sometimes we go round them and sometimes we realise that although they look like they are there, when we examine them up close, they are not there at all.

My personal takeaways from this are

• I have only one life  and I am making my own life.
• I make my own decisions and have to face the consequences of those decisions.
• I have to take ownership of our own decisions and be accountable for the actions and results.
• The power to change my life lies with me.
• With awareness I can change my life to a more meaningful and fulfilling one.
• I will not resort to luck and fate and blame others for my problems.
• All emotional difficulties in life are curable.

PRINCIPLES OF TA:

• Contract which can be an administrative one as well as a psychological contract emphasising on mutual respect ,trust and confidentiality. This enables to set expectations and goals for parties involved in TA.
• Open communication which is free of jargons and acknowledges that you and I are on equal levels.This enables mutual acceptance, respect and non- violent communication between the parties.