Discounting and Grandiosity in TA

Discounting is defined as unwarily ignoring information relevant to the solution of the problem.

A discount is a crossed transaction in which the discountee emits a stimulus from his adult ego state to another person’s adult and that person responds from his parent or child.

Whenever a person is attempting to establish or maintain a symbiosis, she is ignoring or distorting some aspects of her internal or external experience. This is called discounting.

Example 1 : I am waiting  at a bus stop to catch a bus to take me for an urgent client meeting. I am aware that reaching on time is important but I continue to stand and wait for a bus ,and not take the decision to take a cab. I am discounting my ability to think of a different option to reach my destination.

Example 2:I have a headache for two days and keep ignoring the existence of the headache and how it is impacting my wellbeing. Here I am discounting the existence of the headache and not doing anything to relieve me of the discomfort.

(A)Discounting :When our perception of reality matches the popular view, then what we perceive is a consensual reality. If it does not, then our perception is different form the consensual reality. This error in perception occurs because of discounting. In discounting, some aspects of the reality have been ignored, overlooked, perceived larger / stronger / more powerful / more difficult than actual or perceived to be smaller / weaker / less powerful / easier than actual. In either case a distortion has occurred.

Areas of Discounting :People can discount self ,others and the situation.

Three types of discounting take place and each type has four levels. The levels are also called modes or ways. When these are combined a matrix is generated. It is called the Discount Matrix or the Discounting Matrix. When we wish or desire to implement change, we can do something about it once we are able to identify the point of our stuckness as also how to proceed in the matter. The discount matrix helps us to identify our stuck point and also provides the means to resolve it.

The three types of discounting are when a person discounts the stimuli, the problem or the options in example 2 above I was discounting the stimuli, headache and how it was affecting me. I may also choose to ignore the problem that I might face due to a headache e.g. I am not able to complete my task within stipulated time. Here I am discounting the problem. I might have the option or choice of delegating the work to somebody and ensure the task is completed on time, but I don’t do that. Then I am discounting the option and remain stuck with my problem.

The levels of discounting are also called modes. The four levels are existence, significance, change possibilities and personal abilities. When I refuse to acknowledge the presence of headache ,I am discounting its existence. When I do not understand how the problem could impact me adversely ,I am discounting the significance of the problem. When I do not keep an open mind and think of possibilities to counter the issue, I am discounting the change possibilities. When I do not think about what must I do to go  and solve the headache, I am discounting my personal ability to solve the problem.

In order to discount in any of these ways the parents must be operating(1),From a misinformed or uninformed adult, 2)From a contaminated adult or 3) by excluding the adult and cathecting an unhelpful Parent or child .

(B)The negative advantages of discounting :One needs to understand that by denying power to one entity (person or situation), it is invested in, or is granted to or assigned to or in another, this aspect is called grandiosity. Discounting is accompanied by grandiosity. Grandiosity provides justification.

Thinking Disorders: Over-detailing and generalization are two types of thinking disorders.

Over-detailing: In over-detailing the person uses unnecessary details to convey information. In grammar it is called using redundant. An example: “Actually what I want to tell you, and I should have told this to you yesterday, is that I am not coming tomorrow.” Instead of “Sir, I am not coming tomorrow”.

Generalization: Generalization is displayed when something related to one is viewed or conveyed to be of many. For example: If one person or a few persons do not follow traffic rules I say: “the traffic is chaotic because people do not follow traffic rules.”

(C )Grandiosity :Every  discount is accompanied by Grandiosity. This is an exaggeration of some features of reality. It about “making a mountain out of a mole hole.)One feature of the situation is blotted out or diminished through discounting , so another feature is blown up out of proportion by grandiosity. Grandiosity is the act of purposefully exaggerating about self or others or the environment in order to maintain the passivity. This can give us at least two information. The first one being that people might miss and ignore information. The second one is that it helps us see when these people might not be taken seriously. Words indicating grandiosity can be never, always, naturally, absolutely, all or evident. Take for example a sentence “my clients never complain”, “Our clients’ interests always come first” or “We stress teamwork in everything we do”.

Example of Grandiosity : I am sitting in a restaurant feeling hopeless because the waiter wasn’t serving me my dinner that I had ordered. Here I am discounting my own options as well as giving more power to the waiter,which he in real life didn’t have,the power to decide whether I should get my dinner on time or not. My friend was sitting besides me in the restaurant. Seeing the waiters lack to response to my gestures, she also gets very angry. She tells me, “ That waiter is incompetent I were his manager ,he would be sacked for such delayed service.”.Here my friend was discounting the waiters competence and was being very grandiose about herself. She was taking on herself the role of judge and jury although she had neither adequate evidence nor responsibility to do so.

Discounting relation with TA concepts:

Discounting and strokes :It is important to distinguish between a straight negative stroke and a discount. A discount always entails some distortion of reality, e.g. “You’re hateful” – Discount “I hate you” – Negative stroke “I can see you can’t spell” – Discount “You’ve spelled that word wrongly” – Negative stroke A discount gives no signal on which to base constructive action.

Discounting and behaviours: A discount itself are not observable. But there are four types of behaviour which always indicates that the person is discounting. These are called Passive Behaviours: • Doing nothing • Over adaptation • Agitation • Incapacitation and/or violence

Discounting and contamination and exclusion When a person shuts down one or more ego-states this called exclusion.  There are three possibilities:

  1. Excluded Parent means that the person will not have any ready-made rules about the world.  They make their own rules in every situation. 
  2. Excluded Adult means that the person does not reality test.  There is a constant internal struggle and behaviours may seem bizarre.
  3. Excluded Child means that the person will shut out the stored memories of their own childhood.  Feelings are often expressed from our Child ego-state.  Therefore, those who exclude the Child may appear cold and distant.

Discounting and Symbiosis :In unhealthy symbiosis ego states are discounted in two ways. In one way by not using those that are available for use and in another way by using those of another. There is sharing. Though dysfunctional, this sharing provides a sense of comfort to both parties. The unused ego states are excluded contextually, meaning in the moment and for the topic prevailing and purpose. Both parties experience psychological gain in the process. 

Yugen 39 Bernian Theory of Transactions and its Types

Those sweet words we shared between us,

the vault of heaven has concealed in its heart.

One day they will pour down like rain,

and our secrets will germinate

in this soul of this universe —- Rumi

(A) Definition :Communication between people always takes the form of transactions. Transactions is a basic unit  of social discourse consisting of a transactional stimulus and a transactional response. We can use the ego state model to analyse transactions and what goes on during the process of communication. Transactions can be  parallel, cross or ulterior.

(B) Types of transactions :

COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS

A transaction is complementary when someone aims a phrase, gesture or action at another person’s and that person replies in the same ego state, as parent, Adult or Child. When 2 people meet there are actually 6 ego states and 9 complementary transactionsinvolved in the conversation.E.g. . PP-critical gossip, AA- solving a problem, CC/PC – Playing together. Some examples are given below from my experiences.

A-A        Stimulus :   Can someone define Ego ?

               Response:  TA is a theory of personality.

Key :      rather unemotional exchange between individuals

P-P         Stimulus : Millennials look terrible in long hair and torn jeans.

               Response: Yes, they do, they don’t respect anything.

Key :      judgements made in general statements and slogans, in absentia

C-C        Stimulus : I like your dress.

               Response: I think you dress is really pretty.

Key :      expression of joy and openness

C-P        Stimulus : Ma can we order pizza for dinner today ?

              Response : Okay, let’s do pizza today

P(CP)-C   Stimulus : Go and have your bath, you are full of dirt and  sweat.

                Response : I want dinner first ,I am hungry.

P(NP)- C    Stimulus : You are so obedient .

                   Response : a big grin (non-verbal)

                                                       

        C) Crossed transactions :

A communication where stimulus and response are crossed and broken off, operate from different ego states is called crossed transaction. There are 72 types of crossed transaction .The four most commonly occurring one are

Type I :    AA-CP      Transference reaction ,responsible for maximum troubles.

Type II  :  AA-PC      Counter Transference reaction

Type III :  CP-AA     Exasperating response

Type IV:   PC-AA     Impudence

Type I Crossed Transaction-Transference : Transference happens in both Type I and Type II .                                                   

Transference occurs when a person redirects some of their feelings or desires for another person to an entirely different person. One example of transference is when you observe characteristics of your father in a new boss. You attribute fatherly feelings to this new boss. They can be good or bad feelings. In 1905, Freud first mentioned the concept of transference literally “carrying over” of past psychological experience which is inappropriate to the present situation or relationship. Transference has to do with certain feelings a client can have towards a therapist, an employee towards a boss, student to a teacher etc. It’s similar to projection. Projection is a feeling you have from yourself that you project on to somebody else.

What is the difference between projection and transference?

Projection is a belief or assumption that others have similar thoughts and experiences as oneself while transference is the process by which emotions and desires, originally associated with one person, such as a parent, are unconsciously shifted to another.

AA—PC, Type II Counter transference reaction:

An unreasonable dislike for the client or excessive positive feelings about the client. Becoming over-emotional and preoccupied with the client’s case between sessions. Dreading the therapy session or feeling uncomfortable during the session. What do you do when you experience countertransference?

If a therapist is experiencing countertransference with their client, they should do the following.

  1. Recognize it. Countertransference can easily happen no matter how seasoned a mental health provider is or how long they have been in the field.
  2. Consult with Colleagues.  
  3. Self-Care.
  4. Refer Your Client Out.

Type III : Exasperating Transaction:

Wife: I have been suffering from fever since morning. Now I am feeling uneasy.

Husband: Medicine for fever is available in the cupboard.

CP—AA Type III   exasperating response -where someone wants sympathy, but gets facts instead

Type IV : Smart Alec/Impudence Transactions:

Father: Don’t play now. Go and study.

Son: Physical exercises make our mind healthy. I shall play now for some time.

PC—AA Type IV impudence -expects compliance but gets smart aleck in the form of factual statement

(D)Ulterior Transactions:

 In an ulterior transaction more than two Ego states are involved and there are two level transactions ,Social as well as Psychological which are not congruent. Usually, the social level content is adult-adult and psychological message is parent -child or child-parent. There are two Types of Ulterior Transactions: Angular and Duplex.

Ulterior Duplex Transaction: A social message overlies a psychological level exchange between P and C (less often C-C or P-P) is called a duplex transaction .There are 6480 types of duplex transactions. Out of these 6 are commonly significant (AA-AA) +(CC-CC), (AA-AA) +(PP-PP), (AA-AA) +(PC-CP), (PP-PP) +(CC-CC), (AA-AA) +(CA-CA), (AA-AA) +(PA-PA).

Ulterior Angular Transaction :Here I may address you with a social level stimulus from Adult to Adult. But my secret message is from my Adult to your Child. I hope you will take my invitation and come back with a child response.

Successful: When the Child responds to Adult. There are 18 successful angular transactions

Unsuccessful: Adult maintains control and the response is from the Adult. There are 18 types of unsuccessful Angular transactions.

(E)Other special types of transactions :

Carom Transactions:  Directed from A to B but hoping to influence C who Can overhear it. 

Tangential Transactions: Response is at a tangent.Eg:A.” Who broke the glass”? B “It was broken long back.”

Discounting Transactions: A to B but B Ignores the Stimulus and makes a third unconcerned statement.                                        

Gallows Transactions: Despite the fact that person is facing and moving to his end, he is smiling and is

 called  Gallows laughter. When somebody responds with laughter towards the person, and is  then called    Gallows Transaction.

Bulls eye Transactions: One in which the stimulus addresses all the three Ego states.

(G) Significance and application of transactions :

One can decide how to manage the transactions in order to maintain a smooth parallel flow of exchange. As Stephen Karpman developed the idea that we can choose to transact in whatever way we like. He said “ the object is to change what is going on and get free in whatever way you can .” By studying and noticing the subtle as well as changes in voice, tone and body language, one can predict where the conversation is going and which ego state is the speaker and receiver operating from. It is predictive as well as gives indication of remedial action like changing the ego state during the transaction  can help.

Rules of Communication:

First Rule: As long as transactions remain complimentary, communication can continue indefinitely.

Second Rule: When a transaction is crossed, a break in communication results and one or both individuals will need to shift ego in order for communication to be re-established.

Third Rule: The behavioral outcome of an ulterior transaction is determined at the psychological and not at the social level.