Yugen # 45 Process script and Role of drivers

Yesterday I was Clever,

So I wanted to change the world.

Today I am wise,

so I am changing myself. ——— Rumi

Process Script is the process of living or life style, which are consistent with overall life plan. Process Script refers to the patterned behaviours and responses which a person uses on a day to day or second by second basis. Berne points out that a person‘s life plan is mostly influenced by her injunctions, while life style is mostly influenced by her drivers. There are 6 script process pattern or scripty life style .

1)Until Process script :People with Until style  set  certain targets to be completed before enjoying their life. “I can’t have fun until I have finished my work.” “After I retire, I will be able to go for picnic.” “Once the children are grown up, my problems will be over and then I can enjoy“.

       Eg : I will submit the presentation and then take have dinner.

       Eg: I will work till 60 years of age and then only travel for pleasure.

     2) After Process script :People belonging to After style believe that if they enjoy today, they may have to      weep tomorrow. They are always anxious about the future, ever expecting some calamity to follow. When they start their vehicle their first thought is about the probability of an accident. When children are late from school or the spouse is late from office, their mind is burdened with the possibility of calamity.

      Eg:  Don’t laugh too much today or else you will have to cry tomorrow.

      Eg:Don’t be too happy with your papers today or else tomorrow’s exam may be tough.

      Eg:Don’t celebrate your success today ,you don’t know how long it will last ?

    3) Never process script : People with the ‘Never’ script are always running after something they do not have. They  moan ” I don’t get whatever I want most” .They cannot enjoy life though they have adequate facilities at their disposal. They never reach their goal. They never finish their tasks. Since they are not satisfied with the present life, they never to experience intimacy or enjoy sex, and never to succeed professionally.

     Eg:  Life is  tough for me, I’m constantly struggling ,as always.

     Eg:  Nothing is easily available to me, I’ve to struggle for everything.

   4)Always Process script : People who belong to the Always script bemoan” My fate is to suffer always.Why do I always get such a negative deal?” “Why does this always happen to me?”. They think living is always working and suffering. They will go from one unsatisfactory relationship, job or locality to another. They follow the  pattern, why does this always follow to me ?

   Eg: Why do I always get such horrible bosses to report to ?

   Eg: Nothing comes to me easily, I’ve to always struggle to achieve anything .

   5) Almost Type 1 process script : Such people make “all” efforts to become successful but in the end, something happens and they lose their due share Almost : Almost script says, I almost made it this time. Berne called this pattern “over and over “ as in almost1. Eg. Questions for the exams were very easy, but I could not finish satisfactorily . My job interview with that company was comfortable, but I could not conclude it well. This time I almost reached the top of the promotion list, but. “. “My son had prepared very well for exams, but he fell sick. He listens to all the lectures attentively but does not understand.

   Eg:  I prepared well for the interview but did not get the job.

   Eg:  I always plan my work well but some or other mistakes are always there.

     6)Almost Type 2 process script : Almost 2,here people feel they have not made it.They cannot remain happy with what they achieve. There are people who go on adding degree after degree to their name. People of this type, are not satisfied on getting promotions, because there are still some higher post above the promoted post. Their achievements do not make them happy.

       Eg: Its fine I did my Masters but  I will be happy when I complete my Phd.

       Eg:  Its ok to complete my studies but the real importance is getting a good job.

    7)Open ended script :this resembles the until and after scripts in having a particular cut off points after which things change. This may be lived out over and short as well as long term , the time after that point is just one big void. The motto is , once I get to a certain point in time, I won’t know what to do with myself afterwards.

       Eg: I just don’t know how to kill my time especially after both my kids have gone abroad.

       Eg: Now that I have retired from my job I don’t know how to keep myself busy.

Primary Driver	Process script
Be perfect	until
Please others	after
Be strong	never
Try hard	always
Hurry Up
Please others + try hard	Almost type 1(I almost completed it)
Please others + be perfect	Almost type 2(never satisfied, move to next target)
Please others + be perfect	Open ended

As a part of the process of TA therapy, clients are often encouraged to return to the childhood scenes in which they arrived at self-limiting decisions. Once there, the clients re-experience the scene and then relive it in fantasy in some new way that allows them to reject their old decisions and create new ones. They then design experiments so that they can practice new behaviour to reinforce their re-decision.

Breaking free from process script patterns:

Establish your main process script patterns .Take adult control to break the pattern.

For until script  : Go ahead and have fun even before you have finished the work.

For After script : Go ahead and enjoy today and enjoy tomorrow also.

For  Never script : Decide what 5 specific things  you can do to attain your want. Then do one of these things each day.

For Always script : realise that you do not have to repeat the same mistakes or persist when things are awful. Leave it and look for something new.

For Almost Type 1:Complete what you do

For Almost Type 2:  Recognise each of your own successes as you achieve it.Keep a list of your aims. Every time you achieve something strike it out of your list. Do not start something new before celebrating what you have just achieved.

Yugen #44 Relevance of Games in our Life Script

Half of Life is lost in charming others.

The other half is lost in going through Anxieties caused by others.

Leave this Play,You have played Enough. ——– Rumi

Games are a set of complementary ulterior transactions, repetitive in nature , with a con and gimmick followed by a switch bringing out a well defined psychological payoff.A psychological game is defined by Berne as “an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transactions progressing to a well defined predictable outcome “.Games are individually programmed. Games played from Parent ego state : If parents’ games are initiated.Games played from Adult ego state : If they are consciously calculated.Games played from Child ego state :If they are based on early life experiences , decisions and the positions that a child takes about self and others.

Scripts: Script is defined as a life plan made in childhood, reinforced by parents, justified by subsequent events, and culminating into a chosen alternative – Eric Berne.

The destiny of every human being is decided by what goes on inside his skull when he is confronted with what goes on outside his skull. Each person decides in early Childhood how he will live and how he will die. When I am in script, I will be Replaying outdated beliefs about myself, other people and the quality of life .Anytime I am experiencing racket feelings , I am in script. Script is a plan a child made for itself and unconsciously continues to live out in subsequent years. It is a decision made once and for all by the child as to how to get strokes from its parents.

Relevance of Games in  script theory :

 (1)Games are played without Adult awareness which furthers script.

 (2)Games always end up with the players experiencing racket feeling which furthers script.

 (3) Games are played to maintain basic life position which furthers script.

 (4) Everytime a person experiences a racket feeling ,he /she has two options to deal with it.

        1) address it with Adult awareness in the here and now or

        2)Store the racket feeling away to be used as “psychological trading stamps” or a “stamp”. When     the    gameplayer stores the racket feeling as a stamp ,it helps in furthering the script.

  (5) When the gameplayer has built up a enough collection of stamps, they feel ‘justified’ in cashing it in for the negative script payoff that they decided upon as a child. This furthers the script.

  (6)Most people play a small number of favourite rackets and games with various persons and in varying intensities. Racketeers and game players intuitively seek out and find partners for complementary rackets and games. Each gameplayer chooses their games in such a way that they would get the stamps that would help them to advance themselves  towards their decided-upon script ending. This script story may also be played in miniature many times during the player’s life. It is marriage and other close relationships that the games are usually played the hardest to furthers one’s script.

(7)Games help to structure time as they come with filtered strokes which not only alters  something about the present situation but also recycles old Parent and Child tape involving discounted strokes from the past.This furthers the script.

(8)Games confirm the parental injunctions and further life script.

(9)Games help to acquire strokes.Positive strokes may be acquired during the early moves of the game and negative strokes always accompany the payoff. A “good” game is often referred to as one in which the amount of pleasant strokes exchanged in the early phases of the game exceed the amount of negative strokes which accompany the payoff. However these games are not really good since they maintain a not-OK life position and further the script.

(10) The intensity of the game being played or the degree of the ‘cashing in’of the payoffs  depends on the kind of script. Also, people choose the degree of the game based on the degree of their script payoff (i.e., a third-degree game for a hamartic script, second-degree for a lighter losing script, etc.). For example, if the gameplayer’s script is hamartic, they might favour making big collections of stamps and cashing them in for a heavy payoff. They may collect stamps of fright for years, then finally cash them in by getting admitted into a psychiatric ward by developing acute paranoid schizophrenia. Such kind of third degree games and rackets help to further a losers script and involves severe tissue damage and the game players may end up in jail,hospital or morgue. On the other hand if a persons  script is banal, they keep smaller collections of stamps and trade them in for lighter payoffs like a quarrel or quitting a job in anger.

(11) People play games to reinforce their script beliefs. As children we see and make our early decisions as being the only way to survive. So, even in adulthood, when we are in script, we want to confirm again and again that reality matches our script beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world. So, every time we play a game, we use the payoff to reinforce our script beliefs. And, we choose our games such that they will confirm the scripty beliefs we have about self, others, and quality of life.

(12) Advantages in playing games :Games are played because of their homeostatic or stabilizing function in lives of the individual players. This also helps the game player to further the script.The advantages are negative.

 1)Biological Advantage – Games yield strokes. The strokes that games generate are always negative and painful. Satisfies both stroke hunger and structure hunger.eg: Every time I play”Poor me” , I am inviting the strokes from other by way of gaining attention and sympathy.

 2)Existential Advantage – Games confirm one‘s life position which furthers script.eg : Blemish confirms my life position as I am ok and you are not ok.

3)Internal Psychological Advantage – Games help persons to maintain stability of their script beliefs thus further strengthening scripts.

4)External Psychological Advantage – Games help persons to avoid situations that would challenge their frame of reference by avoiding  anxiety-arousing situations .eg : “Look how hard I tried” provides an excuse to escape accountability of tasks.

5)Internal Social Advantage – Games offer an opportunity for pseudo intimate socializing indoors or in privacy.

6)External Social Advantage – Games offer a theme for gossiping in a wider social circle.

Sr no	Game played	Feature of the game played	Payoff for player as per his script
1	Blemish	Finding faults in others	Distracts attention from self. I am ok u r not ok, Negative reassurance.
2	Courtroom	Derive logically reasons to prove others are wrong in legal grounds	Get attention, support and sympathy. Helps maintain life position I m ok u are not ok.
3	If it weren’t for you	Shifts blame on others for personal failures	Reassurance to self  that it is not my fault, absolution of guilt and ownership,False adequacy -resentment.
4	I’m only trying to help you	Offering help and then getting upset when help is not accepted or acknowledged	Need to be in control of others ,gain popularity, love and acceptance. operates from one up position of power as rescuer.Disappointment.
5	Poor Me	Projecting self as helpless, always the victim, always the recipient of injustice	To gain sympathy, support and attention
6	Now I’ve got you you son of a bitch	Revengeful, vindictive ,vents out rage on others and blames them for it.	Displaces anger and vents it on others
7	Look how hard I,ve tried	Gaining sympathy for one’s failures, showing the amount of efforts put in and still failing to achieve desired results.	Not displaying accountability, responsibility and ownership for one’s actions and results.

Yugen # 43 Recognising games in conversations

Love is not a game of Chess,where you plan your next move,

But a game of Backgammon,where you Trust and Throw the Dice. – Rumi

Game is a series of duplex transactions which leads to a ‘switch’ and a well-defined, predictable ‘payoff’ that justifies a not-OK, or discounted (less-than) position.”.Berne defined a psychological game as “an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transaction progressing to a well-defined predictable outcome.”

Features of Game:

Games – How is it played ? Involve a Con. Con hooks up to a weakness. Weakness is a handle or a gimmick to get hold of in the respondent.eg.(fear, greed, sentimentality, irritability).After the mark is hooked, player pulls some sort of switch in order to get a payoff. Switch is followed by a moment of confusion or cross up while the mark tries to figure out what has happened to him. Both players collect their payoffs(feelings). Payoff is called a trading stamp. Game ends.Game is a series of duplex transactions which leads to a ‘switch’ and a well-defined, predictable ‘payoff’ that justifies a not-OK, or discounted (less-than) position.”Berne defined a psychological game as “an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transaction progressing to a well-defined predictable outcome.”

1. Games are repetitive :A person follows the same pattern . Each of us have our favourite games which we keep repeating irrespective of different circumstances.

• Games are played without adult awareness :  Most of the times people don’t realise that they themselves have helped set up the game. They continue to replay the game without being aware they are doing it.

• Games always end up with the players experiencing racket feelings : In a game both players are left feeling unpleasant.

• Games entail an exchange of ulterior transactions between the players: In every game there is something different happening at a psychological level from what seems to be happening at a social level. People repeat their games over and over again finding others whose games interlock with their own.

• Games always include a moment of surprise or confusion :. Here the player senses that something unexpected has happened, especially after people seemed to have changed their roles.

•  Game analysis : There are five different  ways to analyse and understand the dynamics of a game .

1. Formal game analysis – analyses the various  “advantages” of a game.
2. Drama Triangle :Focusses on racket and game positions.
3. Transactional game diagram : involves the diagnosis of ego states, including emphasis on psychological level communication.
4. Symbiosis diagram : focusses on identifying the preferred ego states of each player.
5. Formula G : describes the flow of a game, outlining the steps it will take once the initial moves are begun.

•  Advantages of games :

1. Helps to  pass the time with people.
2. Enables to main the basic life position.
3. Meet the need to acquire negative strokes.
4. Helps to confirm parental injunctions.
5. Creates pseudo intimacy.
6. Aids to mask our real and authentic feelings. Games plays out as follows:

• An opening con (C), an invite from person A to person B into the game, has to hook person B’s gimmick (G).
• When B responds (R) the game is on.
• With B hooked, person A can pull the switch (S) which sends person B into complete confusion or cross up (X).
• Once the cross up has happened then both parties can claim their payoff (P).

Game analysis using game formula  : Example

 Con : Shweta signals Anupama her desire to play a game with her( 1)nonverbal    communication(rolled up eyes & meaningful wink).(2)stating her observations to Anupama about Nisha and waits for a response from Anupama rather than telling what she already knows and asking directly for what she wants.

Gimmick : Anupama gimmick is her need to feel powerful and acceptance in the group (as a cover up for her inadequacy in work performance). She communicates the gimmick by her (1) nonverbal behaviour,(2) her loaded  suggestions and snide  remarks,(3)her immediate response to Shweta’s criticism of Nisha.

Response : Social response of feeling very important and powerful people in the clan. Sometimes this leads to lack of intimate relationships of the team members with Shweta and Anupama.

Switch : Anupama switched her role and loyalties and reveals everything to Nisha especially all the details said by Shweta behind Nisha’s back.

Cross up :Shweta experiences moment of silence, disbelief ,anger and confusion . Her ego state changes from CP to AC(Shweta feels victimised and at receiving end of Anupama’s betrayal.

Payoff :Shweta feels angry, betrayed.Anupama derives triumph and a sadistic pleasure. Nisha feels happy to gain trust of Anupama.  People are sometimes surprised when after having engaged in a pleasant stroking for a period of time, they are suddenly aware of an emotional element which is tense ,hostile, sad or unpleasant.They have been playing a game,without Adult awareness,so that the racket feeling payoff comes as a surprise.This racket feeling results from a discount either of the self or someone else.This ranges from a Victims sadness or confusion to a Persecutors anger or triumph to a rescuers concern or pity

Yugen #42 Understanding the concept of Stroke Economy in Transactional Analysis

And still after all this time, the Sun has never said to the Earth, ” You owe me “. Look what happens with love like that. It lights up the sky .” ———— Rumi

Definition and explanation :

The stroke economy is a concept which helps to clarify why we end up with so little warmth in our interactions and what we can do to change this. This  was created by Claude Steiner, a transactional analyst psychotherapist, in the 1960s. A stroke is a unit of recognition . If it’s a positive stroke you could see it as a little parcel of love given by one person and received by another. We all need strokes and a lot of us go to great lengths to earn them (like working too much, or being overly-nice to people, more than you really want to be). However, strokes  are free, they are easy to give, so why aren’t we all giving and receiving strokes all the time, which would make us all feel a lot better? Steiner believes that parents do this as a way of controlling children. By teaching children that strokes are in short supply ,the parents gain the position of stroke monopolist. As we grow into adults, we are unaware of this and continue to use these rules .Most adults spend our lives in a state of partial stroke deprivation.

Stroke economy is the indoctrination as children by parents about the five restrictive rules about stroking. By training children to obey these rules, parents ensure that, in a situation in which strokes could be available in a limitless supply, is transformed into a situation in which the supply is low and the price parents can extract for them is high. Knowing that strokes are essential, the child soon learns to get them by performing in ways which mother and father demand.

1. Don’t give strokes when you have to give.
2. Don’t ask for strokes when you need them.
3. Don’t accept strokes if you want them.
4. Don’t reject strokes when you don’t want them.
5. Don’t give yourself strokes.

In order to reclaim our awareness, spontaneity and intimacy, Claude Steiner urges  that we need to reject the restrictive basic training our parents imposed on us regarding stroke exchange.  As grown- ups we can re- assess these childhood decisions and change them if we want. He suggested the following.

Strokes are limitless and come free

1. Give strokes that you want to give

2. Ask for the strokes you want or need

3. Accept the strokes you get

4. Don’t accept the strokes you don’t want

5 .Stroke yourself (a lot)

Instead of stroke economy we need to go for stroke affluence .

Impact on personality : A stroke is a unit of recognition and provides stimulation to an individual. Since strokes are necessary for survival, a person will do whatever she or he thinks she/he must in order to receive the strokes needed by them. Extensive research done by  Rene Spitz and Dr. Harlow and others indicate that stimulus deprivation for prolonged periods result in adverse mental and emotional reactions, including psychosis and other impacts on personality of the child ,which becomes evident while growing up. Berne concluded that,” a biological chain may be postulated leading from emotional and sensory deprivation through apathy to degenerative changes to death.”

Stroke Power : each  stroke can be thought of as having a certain amount of stimulation power, ranging from 1 up to 100 for positive strokes perhaps to 1000 for negative strokes. Negative strokes are potentially more powerful than positive strokes. Not only can negative strokes be delivered more powerfully, but human is psychologically structured to be strongly  impacted far greatly by a negative stroke. Our instinct for survival requires that we respond to negative inputs with more immediacy and energy than we need for positive inputs. Our bodies can take only a limited amount of negative stroke. E.g., A terrorised child might faint and blank out when his circuits are overloaded and will recall only dread and tension in his mind ,gut and muscles. Therefore, strokes have different amounts of power and this is called stroke power.

Eg:    Hi suparna – 10 positive strokes

          You are doing good suparna   – 50 positive strokes

          You are stunning , with a smile and hug – 100 positive strokes.

          I don’t like your dress – 10 negative strokes

          Get lost – 100 negative strokes

          You are a loser , just like your father – 200 negative strokes

          A bad trashing in black and blue – 1000 negative strokes

Stroke Profile : A stroke profile is a device for measuring what an individual does with strokes in four different categories. Each is very important and has considerable implications for living. Generally, since people do not like to give up strokes until a replacement is assured ,it is easier to raise a lower rating than to lower a high one. When the low rating goes up, the high one will usually come down. The stroke profile  also provides clues about a person’s script since an individual’s stroking pattern both reinforces his script and provides a way to carry it out. This method is devised by Jim Mc kenna.

Give : Giving positive strokes is always welcome and essential for a healthy development of personality as long as over nurturing is avoided. If one is open to giving strokes, you will also tend to get back an equal amount of what you give. Many people want to give strokes only after others have given to them. Giving first always works better.

Eg. : You are so talented young boy !

Eg. : You are a rockstar !

Take : Taking strokes is important. One flourishes with positive strokes so accept it with gratitude. Also build the strength the accept feedback even if it is negative , as long as it is growth oriented. A freely given stroke does not obligate a response. If it feels good, take it and enjoy it, and do not look for attached strings.

Eg. : I like it when you express your love to me, it matters a lot ,thank you and I accept your comments with gratitude.

Eg.:  “I like it when you appreciate my dressing style,” said Reema.

Ask : It is ok to ask and its equally important as the ones given spontaneously. Asking for attention or love and appreciative is very important, so if it matter to you ,one must not hesitate to ask and receive strokes for emotional wellbeing.

Eg. : How am I looking in this new saree ?

Eg.; “ I am a god boy, ma ?”asked Suraj.

Self Stroke : This is when a person gives strokes to himself or herself in a very reassuring manner.

Eg: Patting one’s back, wiping the palm on the face and body during a massage.

Rejecting: You do not have to give what someone else wants. Give only what you want to give and help establish an honest stroke economy. One can reject negative strokes that you don’t like . Some positive strokes can also be rejected .eg : Being forced to eat an extra helping even when you are full.

Eg., I do not want to join the meeting today.

Eg.;   I am busy today, cannot join you for a movie tonight.

Samuels feels that “people tend to give the kind of strokes they want to receive “ people tend to take care of other people  the way they themselves would like to be taken care of. Unfortunately, they may wait for other people to read their minds and so often end up being disappointed. Hence self-stroking is very important. As grown-ups we tend to continue the adapted behaviour of not acknowledging our achievements.  In adulthood most of us are so used to belittle our own achievements to even ourselves. It is important to self-stroke  in order to feel consistently good about ourselves.

The value of strokes is also significantly affected by the source. A stroke from a casual acquaintance usually will not have as much impact as one from someone important to you, such as an employer, respected peer or lover. And regardless of who gives the stroke the ego state she uses may also make a large difference in its value.

Yugen # 41 Time Structure in Transactional Analysis

If everything around you seems dark, Look again,

You may be the Light —- Rumi

How can we structure our time to meet our needs for strokes ?

Structure hunger :We all have an inherent need of structure in our life. What we are going to do in the available time is a matter of our choice. Imagine you wake up in the morning and look forward to the day ahead. If you do not have a plan ,you will have an inner urge to reflect and make a schedule for yourself. This is called structure hunger. Structure hunger is a way to satisfy one need to structure time when no time structure is placed on a person. Time is structured to remove the pain of boredom.

Modes of structuring time : There are six modes of structuring time, each mode has a different relation to strokes. The six modes are

Withdrawal  2.Rituals  3.Pastimes  4.Activities  5.Games    6.Intimacy.

The intensity of stroking increases as we move down the list. The degree of psychological risk also         increases as we go down the list. The unpredictability of stroking tends to increase. It becomes less predictable whether we will be accepted or rejected by the other person.

1. Withdrawal :In withdrawal a person may be attentive inward and carry on a monologue in the head. This can happen in any ego state as it is difficult to predict due to lack of any external clues. It may be  ±CP, ±NP ,  ±AC  , ±NC & A.The person indulges in self strokes in both getting and giving. Withdrawal is usually safe, requires little emotional investment and does not provide stroking from others. In withdrawal  the only strokes we get are self strokes. A person who spends too much time withdrawing may become stroke deprived, lonely and depressed and in severe cases withdrawal may lead to autistic thinking.

E.g., Suparna spending some quiet time in a deep reflective mode and asking herself “what is the purpose of my life ?”.This is an example of positive self stroke.

E.g., Suparna doing her SWOT analysis sitting alone in a room,reflecting on her weaknesses and threats and she says ,” Come on ,pull up your socks ,this is not good”. This is example of negative self stroke.

• Rituals : This is a familiar social interaction that proceeds as if it were pre-programmed. As we grow up, we all learn rituals appropriate in our family culture. The art of greeting, hosting, acknowledging gratitude, making conversation with different age groups. Structurally rituals belong to Parent ego state and are performed from the Adapted child. Since this brings about a comfortable result in terms of adapting to expected norms, it is a positive AC behaviour  which may be difficult to assess due to stereotyped words, tones and gestures used in rituals. The intensity of the strokes may be low but are important as they get counted and stored in the stroke bank. There is safe ,predictable exchange of strokes which provide important maintenance strokes.

E.g.  Suparna saying :”Namaste words, tones, are you ?”. Nirmala aunty smiles at suparna and says “namaste beta, I am fine ,how about you ?”.This is example of positive stroke in ritual.

E.g., Suparna enters the lift of her office building. Liftman Raju wishes her “Good morning”. Suparna ignores Raju. This is example of negative stroke in ritual.

• Pastimes : As the name suggest, when people indulge in discussing about past time or experiences of what happened some time back, the content is not pre-programmed and is lighter more like a cocktail conversation . This light superficial conversation  is usually conducted from a Parent or Child ego state where pre judged opinions about the world are expressed. This can yield mostly positive and some negative strokes where people “sound each other out “ and can lay the foundation for games and intimacy. Pastime strokes are more intense and less predictable.

E.g.  Suparna has invited 12 women for kitty party in her house over lunch. All the women are talking about where they travelled in the past 2-3 months and laugh. This is positive stroke in pastime.

E.g., Anupama invited the women from the building for lunch to give a surprise birthday party to her mother-in-law. Some  of them talked about the covid scare and said that this lunch was not necessary. This is an example of negative stroke in pastime.

• Activities: When conversation between people are directed at achieving a specific goal instead of merely talking about it, it called an activity as the participants direct their energies towards some material outcome. The Adult  ego state is very predominant as people are focussed on here and now goals. It can also be from AC or P egostates especially  when participant follow some rules  or feedback is provided post the completion of an activity. The perception of the psychological risk can be greater depending on the activity. Strokes from activity can be both conditional positive and conditional negative. They are usually delayed strokes, given at the end of the activity for a job well or poorly done.

E.g. :  Suparna has decided to learn how to do decopage using wine bottles. She has decided to finish the decoration in three hours along with her friend Jaya.This is example of positive conditional stroke.

E.g., The team members from office sit around a round table in the meeting room, with the purpose of brainstorming. One of them claimed,”This is a stupid idea, it will not work .”.This is an example of conditional negative stroke.

•  Games : When people exchange a series of transactions and at the end of that they both feel bad, it is called a game. Their social level message sounds like an exchange of information but at a psychological level there is an ulterior transaction happening. Following  the initial invitation and a  switch  later on, it signals a game leaving with a payoff ,both people feeling offended. Games are usually played from negative AC, negative CP or negative NP but never an adult. There are intense strokes at the beginning but end with intense negative strokes for all the players. The psychological risk perceived is very great. In a game each participant shifts the responsibility for the outcome to another.

E.g. : In the kitty party Suparna proposed a short trip to Lonavala for all members. All agree and indulge in making plans. Suddenly Vimal says ,” I don’t think it’s a great idea, let’s go to Shirdi “.  Suparna feels bad that her idea is suddenly opposed and discounted. Some others join in and say that perhaps they should drop the idea totally due to covid restrictions.  Both Suparna and Vimal feel bad at the ways things have turned out.This is negative stroke as payoff.

E.g., Sush calls her boyfriend and tells him that she will slash her wrist if he decides to break up with her. Aarav feels sorry and unwillingly continues with their relationship because he is scared that sush will harm herself. Here Sush(need for love, recognition and attention) has hooked on with Aarav(need for company, friendship). She cons him into a relationship . Later she dumps him when she meets a rich guy , Anil ,who can shower her with lavish gifts. Here Aarav is left feeling miserable, Sush feels bad moving over to Anil.This is negative stroke as payoff.

• Intimacy: When people express their authentic feelings and wants to each other without censoring and secret messages, it is called intimacy. Here the social and psychological level messages are congruent and feelings expressed are  appropriate to finish the situation. The participants make it very clear to each other, as far as possible what they expect at a feeling and thinking level from each other. Intimacy is a candid child to child relationship with no games and mutual exploitation. It is set up by the adult ego states of the parties concerned, so that they understand very well their contracts and commitments with each other. Because intimacy is not pre- programmed, it is the most unpredictable of all the ways of time structuring. The outcome of intimacy must always be constructive for people concerned .The comfort and nature of strokes experienced depends on the transaction and situation. There is complete clarity made as far as possible about what we want on a feeling level and thinking level.

E.g. Shoms screamed at his mother. Suparna spoke to shom after two hours and had a very candid and frank conversation about how she felt and stated her expectations from him . In return Shoms also disclosed the reason of his displeasure. Both had a frank discussion and decided on way forward ,in an adult manner talking the situation in the here and now. At the end both Shom and his mother felt good with the outcome of the discussion. It further strengthened their bond as both has set their expectations very clearly. This is example of positive strokes .

When the source of strokes is external and not modified by stroke filter, person may engage in ritual, pastime, activity or intimacy. When the stroke filter is being used to modify the stroke, then intimacy is not present, an activity will not progress for long and a racket or game is probably occurring.When a person is in a racket or a game, the stroke filter not only alters something about the present situation,but also recycles old Parent and Child tapes involving discounted strokes from the past.

Yugen 40 Significance and classification of Strokes in Transactional Analysis

Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open ? ——- Rumi

• Definition of stroke :  A stroke is defined as a unit of recognition.(Berne,1971 )

         A stroke is a unit of attention which provides stimulation to an individual.

         A  stroke is a special form of stimulation one person gives to another.

Stimulus Hunger : We all have certain hungers that we experience according to Eric Berne. One of them is the need for physical and mental stimulation and this is called stimulus hunger. Stimulus  hunger has the same relationship to survival of  human organism as food hunger.( 1). Stimulus hunger is satisfied by stroking or recognition.

Recognition Hunger : As grownups we learn to substitute the crave of physical touch with other forms of recognition. A smile , a compliment, a frown or an insult all show us that our existence has been recognised. This need of acknowledgement by others is called recognition hunger.

Structure Hunger : Structure hunger the need to establish  a social situation within which the person can       transact with others. To satisfy this, the individual seeks social situations within which time is structured or organise for the purpose of obtaining strokes.

Experiments of strokes :(1) Babies with shriveled spines :

(1)Studies conducted by Dr. Rene Spitz & Dr. Harlow.:Dr. Rene Spitz and Dr. Harlow conducted studies on the infants in European Orphanage. Babies who were not touched, cuddled, not held and stroked soon became withdrawn and lifeless. Their spinal chord got shriveled up. Stimulation is needed for living. It is called stimulus hunger which is satisfied by stroking or recognition.

(2) Maternal Deprivation Syndrome: CASE study of SUSY:

Susy was 22 months old, not able to walk. She had low weight and was not able to even crawl. While sitting the child swings like a pendulum. Susy’s mother complains to doctor that “I am fed up with this child. What can I do?” . A woman with motherly body structure who showed love and affection to children was selected. Seven hours of care daily was given by playing with the child and looking after it with tender love. The hired mother played with Susy, touched the child, caressed her, kissed and feed her with great love. Susy improved and started walking and responding in a short span of 3 months.

        

Significance of stroke

Stroking is a positive or a negative effect of communication on any individual. Communication is an exchange or sharing of information. These communications leave positive impact on the individual whereas hateful words, scolding are the example of negative strokes. It is a way to appreciate others .this leads to positive changes in behaviours. This has huge application in counselling , education and organisations. This enhances morale of teams and motivates people to excel themselves and focus their energies towards attainment of their goals.

Classification of strokes :

1. Verbal and Nonverbal: When words are exchanged it called a verbal stroke.

Eg.    Hi, how are you doing suparna?.   Hello, long time, how have you been. we are all good.

Nonverbal strokes can be nods, waves, shaking hands and hugs.

Eg. :  “Ma, I came first in class”, exclaimed piu. Her mother gives piu a tight hug.

2.Positive and negative: A positive stroke is one in which the receiver experiences a pleasant and good feeling. The stroke lands on the receiver in a favorable way.

 Eg. :  “Wishing you the best in your exams”, says Tom to John.

 Eg.:   “You are looking gorgeous in this saree”, exclaims Tina on seeing mira in the drape.

        Both John and Mira have received positive strokes.

 A negative stroke is one which is unpleasant, painful, hurtful and leaves one feeling upset.

Eg.:    “You are a pain in the neck, seeing you increases my blood pressure “, said boss to team member.

Eg.:     “You are so ugly, nothing looks good on you”, said mother to Tia.

      Here both the team member and Tia were left feeling painful after receiving the negative stroke.

       Any kind of stroke is better than no stroke.

3.Conditional and Unconditional: A conditional stroke relates to what you do. An unconditional stroke relates to what you are.

1. Positive Conditional Stroke (+C): Doing / Performance. This is positive when it lands on the receiver and is subject to the receiver doing an activity.

Eg.:       I like working with you, you are so creative in your approach.

        You presentation to the clients was very impressive today.

        I like your MIS report, it is error free.

        You cleaned your room today, so you are a good girl.

2.Positive Unconditional Stroke (+UC):  Being / Person. This leaves the receiver feeling pleasant and is not based on the person doing an activity. It is more directed to the person, for what he or she is.

 Eg. : You are such an inspiration to me.         

       You are my role model  .

          I enjoy your company.

3. Negative Conditional Stroke (-C):  Doing / Performance. This leaves the receiver feeling unpleasant and is subject to the receiver doing or not doing a particular activity.

Eg.:   I don’t like it when you get less marks in exams.

        You are late to work today and so irresponsible

         I don’t like the suit you are wearing.

         You made so many mistakes in this email, you are an idiot.

4.Negative Unconditional Stroke (-UC):  Being / Person. This is directed to the person and is not subject to any activity or performance of the person.

 Eg. .   I hate you.    

           You are worthless.   

           You are a loser in life.      

          You suck.

Categories of  Strokes :

1.Plastic stroke: Not genuine. These are insincere positive strokes which sound fake and the speaker does not actually mean what is said. Eric Berne called them gum drops, marshmallow throwing and plastic strokes.

Eg.  I read your blogs and feel so inspired by your writings. I remind myself that I too should start writing.

2.Counterfeit stroke: Sounding positive and stroking with a negative sting. These always start with a positive note and then a negative comment takes it all away.

Eg.     You did that well, more or less.

         I am impressed that you managed to complete the report on time, so unlike you.

         You look gorgeous when you make an attempt to dress well.

         You are capable only when you put your mind to it.

3.Self Stroke: Appreciating oneself enhances one’s self esteem and goes a long way to accepting oneself.

Eg.    I love my beautiful smile.

        I am gorgeous.

        I am a great presenter.

        I am a rockstar.

4. No Stroke: Ignoring the presence of a person by not responding at all.

Eg. Seema met Lara in the park, face to face but chose to ignore her and crossed the road without acknowledging her greeting.

5. Internal stroke: stroke from nature, Happy memories, fantasies etc.

Eg.: stroking plants and pets, watering plants, gardening, enjoying memories of travel.

Other concepts of stroke

1.Stroke Filter: Ignore or belittle stroke that does not fit in the stroke quotient. These are strokes based on mental filters that people wear unconsciously through which they allow a few strokes to reach them and reject others while distorting some.

Eg :  Tia thinks she is intelligent but not a beautiful girl. So out of her conscious awareness Tia tends to    ignore strokes related to beauty while accepting one’s that are related to intelligence.

2.Stroke quotient: Museum of our favorite positive or negative strokes.

3. Stroke Bank: Collection of positive strokes as memory and store in bank, used /Credit Bank for its own pleasure. Whenever we get strokes, we accept the strokes and also store them away in a bank. We can go back to our memory and recollect these strokes for self-stroke. However, they lose effectiveness on reusing frequently.

4.Stroke Pattern: Pattern of dealing of different types of strokes giving & accepting and rejecting, asking etc. This is usually adopted from family background.

Eg:  In some families they do not encourage showing positive appreciation and the child learns to stop      expressing positive strokes.

Yugen 39 Bernian Theory of Transactions and its Types

Those sweet words we shared between us,

the vault of heaven has concealed in its heart.

One day they will pour down like rain,

and our secrets will germinate

in this soul of this universe —- Rumi

(A) Definition :Communication between people always takes the form of transactions. Transactions is a basic unit  of social discourse consisting of a transactional stimulus and a transactional response. We can use the ego state model to analyse transactions and what goes on during the process of communication. Transactions can be  parallel, cross or ulterior.

(B) Types of transactions :

COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS

A transaction is complementary when someone aims a phrase, gesture or action at another person’s and that person replies in the same ego state, as parent, Adult or Child. When 2 people meet there are actually 6 ego states and 9 complementary transactionsinvolved in the conversation.E.g. . PP-critical gossip, AA- solving a problem, CC/PC – Playing together. Some examples are given below from my experiences.

A-A        Stimulus :   Can someone define Ego ?

               Response:  TA is a theory of personality.

Key :      rather unemotional exchange between individuals

P-P         Stimulus : Millennials look terrible in long hair and torn jeans.

               Response: Yes, they do, they don’t respect anything.

Key :      judgements made in general statements and slogans, in absentia

C-C        Stimulus : I like your dress.

               Response: I think you dress is really pretty.

Key :      expression of joy and openness

C-P        Stimulus : Ma can we order pizza for dinner today ?

              Response : Okay, let’s do pizza today

P(CP)-C   Stimulus : Go and have your bath, you are full of dirt and  sweat.

                Response : I want dinner first ,I am hungry.

P(NP)- C    Stimulus : You are so obedient .

                   Response : a big grin (non-verbal)

                                                       

        C) Crossed transactions :

A communication where stimulus and response are crossed and broken off, operate from different ego states is called crossed transaction. There are 72 types of crossed transaction .The four most commonly occurring one are

Type I :    AA-CP      Transference reaction ,responsible for maximum troubles.

Type II  :  AA-PC      Counter Transference reaction

Type III :  CP-AA     Exasperating response

Type IV:   PC-AA     Impudence

Type I Crossed Transaction-Transference : Transference happens in both Type I and Type II .                                                   

Transference occurs when a person redirects some of their feelings or desires for another person to an entirely different person. One example of transference is when you observe characteristics of your father in a new boss. You attribute fatherly feelings to this new boss. They can be good or bad feelings. In 1905, Freud first mentioned the concept of transference literally “carrying over” of past psychological experience which is inappropriate to the present situation or relationship. Transference has to do with certain feelings a client can have towards a therapist, an employee towards a boss, student to a teacher etc. It’s similar to projection. Projection is a feeling you have from yourself that you project on to somebody else.

What is the difference between projection and transference?

Projection is a belief or assumption that others have similar thoughts and experiences as oneself while transference is the process by which emotions and desires, originally associated with one person, such as a parent, are unconsciously shifted to another.

AA—PC, Type II Counter transference reaction:

An unreasonable dislike for the client or excessive positive feelings about the client. Becoming over-emotional and preoccupied with the client’s case between sessions. Dreading the therapy session or feeling uncomfortable during the session. What do you do when you experience countertransference?

If a therapist is experiencing countertransference with their client, they should do the following.

1. Recognize it. Countertransference can easily happen no matter how seasoned a mental health provider is or how long they have been in the field.
2. Consult with Colleagues.  
3. Self-Care.
4. Refer Your Client Out.

Type III : Exasperating Transaction:

Wife: I have been suffering from fever since morning. Now I am feeling uneasy.

Husband: Medicine for fever is available in the cupboard.

CP—AA Type III   exasperating response -where someone wants sympathy, but gets facts instead

Type IV : Smart Alec/Impudence Transactions:

Father: Don’t play now. Go and study.

Son: Physical exercises make our mind healthy. I shall play now for some time.

PC—AA Type IV impudence -expects compliance but gets smart aleck in the form of factual statement

(D)Ulterior Transactions:

 In an ulterior transaction more than two Ego states are involved and there are two level transactions ,Social as well as Psychological which are not congruent. Usually, the social level content is adult-adult and psychological message is parent -child or child-parent. There are two Types of Ulterior Transactions: Angular and Duplex.

Ulterior Duplex Transaction: A social message overlies a psychological level exchange between P and C (less often C-C or P-P) is called a duplex transaction .There are 6480 types of duplex transactions. Out of these 6 are commonly significant (AA-AA) +(CC-CC), (AA-AA) +(PP-PP), (AA-AA) +(PC-CP), (PP-PP) +(CC-CC), (AA-AA) +(CA-CA), (AA-AA) +(PA-PA).

Ulterior Angular Transaction :Here I may address you with a social level stimulus from Adult to Adult. But my secret message is from my Adult to your Child. I hope you will take my invitation and come back with a child response.

Successful: When the Child responds to Adult. There are 18 successful angular transactions

Unsuccessful: Adult maintains control and the response is from the Adult. There are 18 types of unsuccessful Angular transactions.

(E)Other special types of transactions :

Carom Transactions:  Directed from A to B but hoping to influence C who Can overhear it. 

Tangential Transactions: Response is at a tangent.Eg:A.” Who broke the glass”? B “It was broken long back.”

Discounting Transactions: A to B but B Ignores the Stimulus and makes a third unconcerned statement.                                        

Gallows Transactions: Despite the fact that person is facing and moving to his end, he is smiling and is

 called  Gallows laughter. When somebody responds with laughter towards the person, and is  then called    Gallows Transaction.

Bulls eye Transactions: One in which the stimulus addresses all the three Ego states.

(G) Significance and application of transactions :

One can decide how to manage the transactions in order to maintain a smooth parallel flow of exchange. As Stephen Karpman developed the idea that we can choose to transact in whatever way we like. He said “ the object is to change what is going on and get free in whatever way you can .” By studying and noticing the subtle as well as changes in voice, tone and body language, one can predict where the conversation is going and which ego state is the speaker and receiver operating from. It is predictive as well as gives indication of remedial action like changing the ego state during the transaction  can help.

Rules of Communication:

First Rule: As long as transactions remain complimentary, communication can continue indefinitely.

Second Rule: When a transaction is crossed, a break in communication results and one or both individuals will need to shift ego in order for communication to be re-established.

Third Rule: The behavioral outcome of an ulterior transaction is determined at the psychological and not at the social level.

Yugen No. 38 Pathology in Transactional Analysis

What hurts you ,blesses you .

Pathology is concerned with the reactions of living organisms to injury. It is science of the causes and effects of diseases.

(A)Types of pathology : There are two types of pathology, structural and functional .Structural pathology  deals with anomalies of psychic structure. There are two types ,they can be contaminations or exclusions. Exclusions  can be excluded or excluding/constant.

Functional pathology can be of three types and is subclassified as lability of cathexis ,permeability and lesions.

A snapshot of the types is given below.

1)Structural pathology: Itdeals with anomalies of psychic structure.

• Contaminations
• Exclusion
• Excluded
• Excluding/Constant

2)Functional pathology :Concerned with the lability of psychic energy and the permeability of ego boundaries.

• Lability of Cathexis
• Permeability

Structural pathology :Berne suggests that ego boundaries can be thought of as semi permeable membranes through which psychic energy can flow from one ego state to another. Some people continually act in unpredictable ways and others are so predictable they seem monotonous. These disorders are caused by ego state boundaries which are too lax or tight, have lesions or overlap. This is known as structural pathology.

(1)Contamination :Contamination happens when there is overlapping between the ego states in the absence of clear boundaries. As a result, parts of the ego state overlap and flow into the next ego state. Behaviourally it can be noticed as a lack of consistency in the actions.

a)Parent contamination happens when a person mistakes parental slogans and confuses it with fact based adult reality in the here and now. Parental  slogans are taught beliefs which can mar our judgement of current reality and this parental influence is called prejudice.

Examples of my prejudice that have come as parental advices and I am struggling to let go off:

1. Never cut your nails in the evening, it brings bad luck.
2. Don’t leave your hair open, it needs to be tied up.
3. Always step with your right foot first for good luck.
4. Wear red before an auspicious work.
5. Avoid wearing black colour in religious ceremonies and weddings.

Hint to detect parent contamination :While speaking about one self, if the person uses ‘you‘ instead of “I”, it can indicate parent contamination that may have passed on from parents who themselves believed them to be statements of reality. The conversations seem to come across as slogans or doctorial statements .

Child contamination : This happens when a person clouds his grown-up thinking capacity with beliefs from childhood. The fantasies evoke feelings which as a person now is taking as a fact. This come in the way of judging the current situation, where facts are replaced by childhood fantasies. Here the person relives and re-enacts a childhood situation  and mistakes it with grown up reality.

Examples of my fantasies that have come as childhood delusions and I am struggling to let go off:

1. I don’t deserve to be happy.
2. If I laugh too much today, I will cry tomorrow.
3. I am not intelligent.
4. I don’t deserve success.

Hint to come out of  childhood delusions  : It is best to ask questions when in doubt and seek clarity rather than overthinking.

Double contamination :This consists of all outdated and distorted beliefs a person holds about himself, other people and the world, i.e., script beliefs. Double contamination happens when a person replays a parental slogan, agrees to it with a child belief and mistakes both of these for reality..

Example of my double contaminations :1)Don’t trust men ,paired with I should never trust anyone except myself.2)Always be busy , paired with I can never succeed in life

(2)Exclusions: Exclusion is shutting out one or more ego states by the individual. There are two types of exclusion namely Excluded and Excluding/Constant. The pathology of exclusion is seen when a person rigidly stays in one ego state with stereotypical behavior, feeling too threatened to move out of the existing  behavior. 

a)Exclusions Type 1 : Exclusion happens when a person shuts  one of their ego states. There can be 3 possibilities of exclusion of one ego state. Exclusions or excluded ego state  is denoted by  crossing it through and drawing a line between it and the neighbouring circle.

Excluded parent :People who operate with excluded parent lack any sense of directives, parental slogans, advises. As a result, they operate with self-made rules which fits the situation, and these in most cases may not be socially applicable and acceptable. They have the ability to sense what is going around  them very well and use their child like intuition or little professor to take decisions, which may be way off the mark with acceptable norms, rules and processes. Such decisions can be at the spur of a moment made to suit one’s immediate needs with complete disregard to what is acceptable to others. E.g. :Head strong and successful executives , politicians ,mafia bosses tend to disregard what id right from wrong and often bend rules to suit their needs.

Excluded Adult : Here the person switches off the existence of the adult ego state and relies on a constant parent child dialogue that is happening internally. The  absence of adult reality testing leads to distortion in the thoughts ,feelings and actions and reflects a constant struggle. Since the person does not use full adult powers of reality testing, the persons thoughts and actions become bizarre and the person looks psychotic. Inconsistent behaviour, sudden display of emotions ,display of irrational behaviour, making illogical demands and assumptions are examples of excluded adult. E.g., Drug addicts, psychotic and neurotic patients, drunkards.

Excluded child :  Person shuts out the child ego state thereby wiping out all stored memories of childhood. Thereby the person is unable to express feelings as grownups which is done often in our child  ego state. Thus, person appears as’ too heady ;’too cold’ or’ too insensitive and unemotional ‘

E.g. ) A workaholic boss who refuses to give leaves to his staff.   Eg.) A pushy and demanding mother being stern and always expecting good marks from her daughter and punishing her when she does get good grades.

(b) Exclusions Type 2 : If two out of three ego states are excluded, the one operational ego state is labelled constant or excluding and is represented in the diagram with a thick circle.

Constant Parent : Such a person excludes the adult and child ego state and hence is always assessing the  situations with a set of parental rules. Unable to have fun and being serious all the time is a distinct feature. A very critical and self-opinionated person is a constant adult as he or she blocks own self need for intimacy and friendship. My Example : family members of armed forces personnel are always governed by rules and disciplined lifestyle. Priests ,pandits and maulanas are very stern about rituals.

Constant adult : Such a person excludes parent ego state and fun loving and spontaneous child ego state. Always with a serious disposition ,lack of fun ,lack of laughter, no passion ,such a person comes across as a planner, information collector and data processor similar to a robot living a very structured life.

My Example : After my sibling was born ,when I was 6 years old, I recollect that constant command by my mother to behave responsible, somehow led to me behave with constant parent ego state. I stopped having fun with friends in school, rarely indulged in small treats, stopped smiling and laughing  and carried a serious ‘no nonsense ; demeanour. This made me a loner.

Constant child : Such a person has excluded parent and adult ego state and will at all times think, feel and behave in a carefree, irresponsible manner similar to their childhood. Such a person comes across as immature ,impulsive and in some cases hysterical. Such a person always tends to escalate issues when faced with a problem rather than displaying ownership to resolve it.

My Example : Arvind always comes across as a cribber ,escalating even the minutest of issues of the building, during society meeting. He is unable to deal with the reality of the situation and never takes the responsibility to come forward and solve it. He prefers to escalate issues, make a big noise and stay in the background. Constancy is always shown with a thicker circle in the diagram.

2)Functional Pathology : The person with functional pathology is able to cathect ego states and functions that are free from delusions and contaminations. The emphasis of functional pathology is on flow of energy (cathexis) rather than on psychic boundaries i.e., concerned with the lability of psychic energy and the permeability of ego boundaries. There are 2 types

1. Lability of Cathexis
2. Permeability

A)Lability – The disfunction could be stubborn persistence due to roughly viscous flow of psychic energy (Sluggish flow) without defect in ego boundaries OR rapid shifting of ego states due to labile movement of psychic energy. It appeared as if there were low viscosity in the flow between (Sluggish bound and unbound cathexis.

a) Sluggish flow of cathexis:

 (i) People who are slow to start or to stop playing, thinking or moralizing. 

(ii) The patient is obstinately clinging to certain racial and familial prejudices at any cost i.e. remain in Parent for longer period.

b) Very less viscous(labile) flow of cathexis: (i) At the treatment centre, patient changes from indignant bigot (P) to whining child(C) and temporarily fixed to rational adult (A) i.e., shifting ego states rapidly.                             

B)Permeability: This dysfunction is due to the anomaly in the permeability  of cathexis at the ego boundary. Berne suggests that ego boundaries can be thought of as semi permeable membranes through which psychic energy can flow from one ego state to another. Permeability is a measure of the ability of a porous material to allow fluids to pass through it depending on the porosity and shapes of pores. There are two possibilities of anomalies i.e., Rigid ego boundary and another lax ego boundary.

1. Rigid ego boundary –It has less permeable boundary. It prevents flow of psychic energy. Hence it results in exclusion.
2. Lax Ego Boundaries(Highly permeable)  –A person with lax ego boundaries doesn’t close the doors between ego states, but appears to lack identity & self-esteem and gives the impression of slipshod behaviour. They slide from one ego state to another without much intensity.   The psychic energy slips continuously from one ego state to another in response to very minor stimuli. This person may have great difficulty functioning in the real world and be in serious need of professional help. Real self-shifts under small stresses.

Lesions :Lesions happen mostly in Child ego state and occasionally in Parent ego state. Traumas, events  from childhood or a series of unhappy experiences can create long lasting scars (lesions) in Child ego state. They remain as unhealed wounds in the subconscious mind and these sore spots may be activated at any time. A person with ego boundary lesions exhibits uncontrollable behavior when sore points are touched. Then the injury may break open with an outpouring of strong, irrational emotion.

Yugen 37 Cathexis and the Bernian theory of energy

Everything is driven by energy .

(A)Definition :Cathexis (or emotional investment) is defined as the process of allocation of mental or emotional energy to a person, object, or idea. Steiner defines a cathected ego state as one that is “imbued  with the energy necessary to activate muscular complexes involved in behaviour”.

(B)Bernian Theory of Energy :

Eric Berne’s energy theory describes free cathexis and unbound cathexis as two forms of psychic energy. Berne followed Freud in hypothesizing the concept of psychic energy or cathexis(2.). The default system, which is activated during a resting state when attention is not required for a specific task but is free to wander, is proposed as the neural substrate of unbound energy. It  states that a certain quantum of energy exists within the boundaries of each ego state. The behaviour of humans and their perceptions of themselves depend on the distribution of such energy among the ego states. Energy can take different forms, with each form influencing the individual’s behaviour and self-perception.

(C)Bound ,Unbound and Free energy : An analogy of the monkey

Every ego state has a certain amount of energy in potential form. Berne called this bound cathexis . To activate an ego state, the bound cathexis must be transformed into active cathexis. The cathexis can be activated as one of two types, both of which can influence each ego state independently and with differing effects. Berne called the first type free .It involves the activation of bound energy by a voluntary decision made by the individual. The potential energy is analogous to bound cathexis.Bound energy refers to energy which is always present in each ego state whether it is currently being used or not.

Berne defined the second type as unbound cathexis .In this case, the liberation of the bound energy does not occur voluntarily but is activated spontaneously. It may be prompted by influences from either external stimuli or internal stimuli (e.g., an internal dialogue). The potential energy is released as kinetic energy which is the nature of unbound cathexis. Unbound energy refers to energy which moves from one ego state to another in response to another in response to external or internal stimuli.

To illustrate the differences between bound, unbound, and free cathexis, Berne used the well-known metaphor of the monkey in a tree:

If monkey remains inactive, his elevated position gives him only potential energy. If he falls off, this potential energy is transformed into kinetic energy. But because he is a living being, he can jump off, and then a third component, muscular energy, must be taken into account in order to understand how he lands where he does. When he is inactive, the physical energy is bound, so to speak, in his position. When he falls, this energy is unbound, and when he jumps, he adds a third component by free choice. Free energy refers to active energy or energy which is consciously and wilfully directed to a chosen ego state.The kinetic and muscular energy together might be called the active energy. Bound cathexis then corresponds to potential energy, unbound cathexis to kinetic energy, and free cathexis to muscular energy; and unbound cathexis and free cathexis together may be called active cathexis.

(D)Congruity :Congruity is an integrative approach to the theory of psychology and psychotherapy. When someone has executive power in a different ego state from that experienced in real self, there is a split between his behaviour and his internal experience. The presence of incongruity helps a TA practitioner to judge that the subject has shifted his experience of real self out of the adult and into the child. Recognizing  the absence of congruity is a skill to be developed for all TA users. Any behavioural incongruity ordinarily indicates the presence and cathexis of more than one ego state.

Incongruity : The division between executive and real self obviously poses extra problem for ego state diagnosis. ¢ Since the ego state with executive power is the one which determines behavior, you would expect that the person‘s behavioral clues would indicate that ego state. Eg: Dreaming while discussion .

(E)Real self and Executive self :

How are self-perception and behaviour influenced by the movement of energy? According to Berne, the ego state that has the most free cathexis at any given moment is perceived as the self. However, to determine which ego state is controlling an individual’s behaviour and thus exercising executive power, the unbound cathexis must be taken into account. Indeed, the executive power lies in the ego state in which the sum of unbound cathexis and free cathexis is greater. This kind of description is useful for explaining several phenomena observed in the clinical context, such as the contamination of one ego state by another .

Eg:When I am sitting and writing down my answers ,I am not moving or interacting with others around me at home as I am focussing on reading and writing. At that time, I may come demonstrate behaviour indicating that I am in an adult state. However deep within ,I may be thinking of the time when I can enjoy once the submission is done. This takes me to a child  day dreaming . So, my executive self is adult ego state but I am in child ego state as real self. Thus, we realise that when someone has executive power in a different ego state from that experienced as real self, there is a split between his behaviour and his internal experience.

(F)Ego systonic and Ego dystonic :

Ego syntonic: In this state the ‘Real Self’ and ‘Executive Self’ reside in one and the same ego state. In this case both Free energy and Unbound energy are more in one particular ego state.

Eg : Suparna is sitting in the review meeting and listening with rapt attention to what the presenter is saying. She also gives her suggestions with  complete logic and reasoning. She is demonstrating ego systonic as  her real self and executive self are in the same ego state ie. Adult.

 Ego dystonic: In this case the Real self and Executive Self reside in two ego states. Here the level of Free energy and Un-bound energy combined(active energy) is more in two separate ego states .

Eg: Suparna is sitting in the review meeting. After attentively listening for a few minutes, her attention wanders to whether things are ok at home, whether the maid has come in to clean the house and cook food, and whether everything is ok with the kid. Her real self is  in  Parent ego state now while the executive self is in Adult ego state.

A patient with a contaminated Adult could have free cathexis in the Adult but unbound cathexis in the Child or Parent. Here , the executive power might pass from the Adult to the Child or the Parent. Berne described the contamination of a woman who had a fixed idea that she was being spied on in the bathroom. This aspect of her personality was adult ego syntonic. If we view such contamination from the point of view of the distribution of energy cathexis, the unbound cathexis coming from her Child invaded her Adult and disabled part of her reality-checking ability. While the distribution of energy remains as it is, the irrational idea will continue to be adult ego syntonic. To affect such processes in therapy with patients, therapists can promote a redistribution of cathexis through their interventions.

When the real self and the executive self are in the same ego state, the person feels congruent with her behaviours and they are said to be ego systonic. However, when the real self and the executive self are in different ego states, the person feels incongruent with her behaviours which are then called ego dystonic or ego alien.When our Adult or parent has enough free energy to be experienced as our real self then some behaviour of our child may even be experienced as ego dystonic.

Yugen 36 Enhancing Personal Awareness by using the Egogram

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.         ― Rumi

Lets first understand the concept of Egogram. Egogram is a graphical representation on the degree in which a person makes use of the different functional ego states.An Egogram is simply defined as: ‘a bar graph showing the relationship of the parts of the personality to each other and the amount of psychological energy emanating outward .Egogram is a visual representation of how individual psychic energy is distributed throughout her functional ego states . The egogram is a relationship diagram, depicting the amount of energy a person uses externally or actively as she relates to others.

Egogram is an intuitive way of showing the functional ego state parts of our personality.It is shown as a bar graph showing the amount of energy within the ego structure of the person and how he/she re-distributes this energy within the different ego states at a given point in time. As these are functional manifestations of ego states, this refers to behaviours and not internal processes.(which would need to be represented by structural analysis). It may not be consistent across environments e.g., Home and work, but it is a useful way of describing personality functioning and identifying change strategies. This was developed by Jack Dusay in 1972 who received the eric berne memorial award in 1973.A person learns to respond from certain ego states at certain times to get what she wants. Different people tend to spend varying amounts of time and energy in different ego states and these tendencies can be illustrated by egograms.

How do you construct your own Egogram ?

The Egogram gives an evaluation of the distribution of energy in the personality, and it can be used by the individual to show how much energy is needed to be re-distributed to other parts of the personality to make positive change. It is simple to construct and use. Draw a horizontal line on a piece of paper. Underneath, label the five ego states – adapted child, free child, adult, controlling parent and nurturing parent. Think of yourself at this particular time or at a specific moment in the past, draw whatever you feel is the most energised part of your personality, and draw it with a vertical line. (This will be your highest column.)Now, using your intuition, draw the lowest energised part of your personality as it is in comparison with the other. (This will be the lowest column.)Then fill in the other states as you see them in comparison with the above.

Having done the exercise, you should have now an egogram of the distribution of your energy within your personality at a given time. This will help you see where you might need at certain times to re-distribute your energy to help solve problems in life or therapy.Internal egogram is an egogram drawn by an individual herself to disclose her internal experience. Composite egogram is drawn by asking ten members to draw my egogram and then taking an average of the same.

For e.g. I experienced a High internal controlling parent message,” do as I tell you”, and responded from my Adapted Child by bowing my head and standing still and quiet. My internal egogram drawn by me , showed a very high Controlling Parent  and very high Adaptive Child and a very low Free Child, whereas  my transactional egogram drawn by others  showed a low Controlling Parent, a high Nurturing Parent  and a high Adapted Child.During and post my TA studies when I drew my egogram ,there was a significant increase in my Adult, Nurturing Parent and Free child and reduction in my Controlling Parent and Adaptive Child.

Constancy of hypothesis :Jack Dusay suggests in his book on Egograms, when the energy in one Ego state increases, the energy in another Ego state decreases, which means that one can successfully distribute one’s energy from one Ego state to another. Egograms are based on constancy hypothesis which states that the amount of psychic energy within a person remains constant. . (2.). When one ego state increases in intensity, another or others must decrease in order to compensate. The shift in psychic energy occurs so that the total amount of energy may remain constant. The general principle used in the egogram is using this to emphasise on raising the lower ego state than lowering the higher ones.

For Eg : When I started my focus on enhancing my Adult awareness, automatically my Free Child increased and my Critical Parent and Adaptive Child decreased.

My experience of transformation using egogram:

I had a high CP  and AC this coming from living a very disciplined and instruction led life . A strongly laid down rule book   at home while growing up, led to a high AC in me, lowering my FC and A. When I became a mother, I was conditioned to think and behave that child should be disciplined by strict parents. This increased my CP  and reduced my A. With the study of TA and conscious awareness and work on myself on a continuous basis, I have enhanced my A and NP and FC substantially. Due to constancy hypothesis automatically,  this has resulted in a decrease in my CP and AC. Indeed, having used Egograms successfully in my own self-evaluation, I can see graphically, the kind of person I am  and  it  shows me  the way  I can positively change to be the person that I want to be in my life today.

CPo +NPo +Ao+ACo+FCo =Ko    where Ko represents a constant figure.

1. You can learn what kind of person you are, and also about others to whom you relate.
2. If we want to become effective helpers, then we need to become aware of the way(s)
   in which we tend to communicate and seek to have more control over choosing
   how we communicate.
3. People can see for themselves what they need to change.

Changing involves an important principle of life  “Whatever you give attention to, grows, and whatever you don’t give attention to, diminishes.”